Progress In Work!

INT. WRITERS STUDIO - DAY

Dan (aged 30) is working his fucking ass off like a twat missing lunch again as he tarts up his online presence, job hunting 30 positions a day, chasing leads & the next likely project when.

BING.

A new email - a job offer to write creative content for a corporate paying client (not exactly an impressive pay packet but hali-pissing-luliah! At least 5 months worth of rent taken care of for now + a few drinks & restaurants dinners with my girlfriend & the chance to attend some nights out and stuff with some mates - having a bit of fun & the chance to take things a little easier!

The project 'is' based at the forsaken Bournemouth University but I work "proper", "paid" full-time hours again, doing what I do best & love - writing!
Long story short, its writing content for a new bespoke program that is designed to test a response teams problem solving & management skills dealing with natural disasters according to the profession they work within, against the clock.

The pay off is that I know far more about creating content than they do so I've got all the skills and contacts they want but whether I get the director's role is another matter.

Also received one call from a London based theatre production company who want to talk to discuss me filming their next performance in a couple of months + an email from the Women's Tennis Association in Florida on the same request...
On top of this, also got a PSS (post-graduate support scheme) application approved in case I wanted to pursue an MA in cinematography... "Not if I can help it BU. You're a last resort - greedy bastards but wouldn't mind using it to steal one twats job from under his nose."

The uni won't even load the video editing & scriptwriting software I need to my personal laptop, despite I'm even now kind've working for them - seriously, cheers for all your letters of recommendation but for fuck sake... Where do you get off... How far can you take the piss?

Was at a sheer low recently. I was about a week away from having to sign up to the job centre despite all my hard work down here had that job not come in. ANYONE can tell you how hard I work and if I struggled this bad... God help that younger lot!

Now let me just get this off my chest - there's people who wanted to know what finally flipped my lid a couple of weeks ago regarding that useless lecturer, I mentioned in my last blog.
He'd done sod all for the year he's supposed to be in control of and was now micro-managing the students paying towards his salary to orchestrate our year's grad show + couldn't even be fucked (yet again) to drive the minibus himself... I volunteered, to help out but didn't know this obnoxious piece of work was going to have the nerve, sitting next to me, getting a free ride at the time.

THE LAST STRAW came when I'd just noticed a call after unplugging my headphones, receiving a call from my mate Tom, asking for where I was (with regards to picking up the minibus with him). Gotta admit, wasn't best pleased when I'd earlier pretended to pull out of the deal to maybe help them gain a bit of perspective - FAIL! I got nothing but childish, cowardly backlash from him and 2 others because they're too afraid to say anything similar to the ungrateful lecturer they're paying for who was too busy sitting on his ass.

Whatever... Tom's a mate... & a helluva good organiser and wasn't going to let him down... I was 5 mins away for the agreed time to meet him at 10am; "Hey, Tom" followed by "Where are you, dude, Resh keeps calling me, shouting & telling me to hurry up!"

Response: "Tom... Tell Resh, Dan said to go fuck himself! I'm not going to let you guys down tonight but I find it a bit rich that a bloke has to sacrifice his right to a final drink with you guys tonight so he can get a free ride, ignore his calls... I'll be there in 5 minutes"

I'M SUPER PISSED - How... GOD how... Can you not see this lecturer's behaviour as rude, ungrateful & completely unprofessional? Not to mention the thing wasn't going to start until 7pm in the evening for crying out loud - MORON!

I gave him a royal bollocking when he sat himself beside me. The shock of his life - even then he had to defend himself behind my course mate Ben... Chicken shit!
Was awesome having Ben there anyway, good God - would've gone out of my mind or worse!
Wasn't surprising Resh still didn't give a shit and made a good effort to put that on display for everyone to see at long last.

Was nice to spend some time with my mate Vas once we all got there. Hadn't seen the guy since my stay for the London Screenwriter's Festival. Still lives in that flash apartment in Vauxhall & we managed to start laughing on what a joke we'd come to discover from both our experiences in higher education.

The grad show was well organised - BECAUSE IT WAS THE SCRIPTWRITERS - All the while we're wondering about the ONLY thing Resh had been harping on ALL year about putting us in a room with literary agents for a chance to leave with representation - GUESS WHAT?
"Yep... THAT turned out to be a load of bollocks too!"

At least I got to catch up with Ollie & Tim from the alumni... That was cool but soon enough 'Resh Wanted' everyone out, to head back to the minibus otherwise they were going to 'lock us in.'

I couldn't believe it... the same guy I'd defended earlier who Resh was harassing was helping him achieve it & the lovely Ben (one who gave ME grief over thinking I was going to initially pull out of the driving favour) took off, bolting back... I'd TOLD everyone, I'd done this before & they wouldn't do any such thing, they just send you out a different way... Nope, lets obey Resh. Understandably, Ben was super-pissed having done it for nothing... NOT understandably, rather than bollock the guy who ordered he do this, again he kept silent... as did everyone else. I worry for these guys, I really do!
Everyone knows I'd given him a loud, strong piece of my mind but there you go, guess no-one cares to stand up for themselves anymore... Not the kind of people you're going to remember in films... Nor in real life ironically.

Couldn't believe the fucking words this twat said to his students when he got back in the minibus:
"So what did we learn this evening boys & girls?"
Had I not stayed silent, the response would have been: "That you're a c**t!"

AFTER 3 YEARS OF UNIVERSITY STUDENT LIFE - I'm unhappy to say I've never known such a lazy culture in my life. And for someone who has the audacity to stand in front of a room of people who hate him for knowing the amount of debt they've incurred whilst he exclaims: "I love my job!"
I think my respect for lecturers is completely out of the window (esp. if I got the chance to chuck him out of one lol)

RANT OVER - I PROMISE... What a joke! Phew!

Onto the AWESOME stuff!

I'm not the only one who thought the course is pretty bad after a consultation I had with one of my most respected script guru's - Lucy V Hay, she was hardly impressed either when she did it apparently.

But YES - I got an exclusive skype conversation with her over a feature film I wrote earlier this year. You know, it was one of those stories where you keep trying to work out what the best way to continue is until there was too much of an imbalance I decided I needed the Gordon Ramsay of the script edit world to give her opinion.

First off, she asked me to explain what it was about (presumably as a logline). Give me 5 minutes, a pen & paper, I could tell you... Ask me outright in person (half- star struck) & watch me screw up totally :(

I kept apologising but things got slightly easier to talk about as we talked more. YES - there was too much dialogue, YES - she too wanted to see more of the world I'd created, suggested I go back to the idea of having the mum as the bad guy (... but I really liked my dragon thingy & a 'thematic' antagonist - being racism) but guess since its a tough sell as it is, it needs to come back to being more commercially viable. One thing that pisses me off is my continued ability to fuck up 'past, present & future tenses' in my scripts... Don't ask me how, its not something I notice and I'm not one of these annoying fully grown adults who doesn't know the difference between things like; 'They're, there & their' either. In fact I was in a seminar, led by her agent at LSF '14 who had a memorable saying:

"A Writer's Spelling & Grammar Is The Difference Between Knowing Their Shit & Knowing They're Shit!"
- Julian Friedman

... So... Yeah... I need to cure whatever this is and Lucy gave me a few links & so she sent me a few things to remedy not just this problem but a few that should add to the rewrite's strength:

Lucy V Hay (@Bang2Write / www.bang2write.com)
7 Tips On Sci Fi Arenas / World Building In Your Screenplay Or Novel http://bit.ly/W9IYlP
What Does “Hitting The Ground Running” Mean In Screenwriting? | London Screenwriters' Festival 2014 http://bit.ly/1ABEkKb
10 Questions For Your First Ten Pages http://bit.ly/ZVaWwl
10 Ways To Revitalise Your Scene Description http://bit.ly/ZEMvFX
16 Steps to Better Scene Description by William Martell http://bit.ly/P8iCvv
10 Common Errors In Your Writing You Need To Fix Right Now http://bit.ly/1dVPiGv

... naturally there was a couple more things but tell me... Where are we fitting in our reading nowadays guys? & why the fuck wasn't my uni giving me this kind of feedback? £50 with Lucy VS £24,000+ with Bournemouth Uni - explain.

In fact - Bafta seems to be wondering the same thing >

It was nice seeing mates like Murad, Anna, Vicky & a new mate, Nowaz before they all buggered off from Bournemouth. Gave Slavi a copy of my latest feature and Tanya's character's dogtags from our 'Survivor' film as it was also her birthday. Who knows maybe that boss of hers in Hungary will read the new version too and offer me something... Ya never know :)

I'm starting to spend some more time with my mate Nicola... Guess you could call her a film-maker now too. We went to a local networking event last Thursday night called 'IDEAS Bournemouth' but turns out there was more artists than there were people like us but still took away 3 contacts who may come in handy.

Discussing what stuff we can undertake next, whilst trying to help her with her job hunting and stuff. I've added her to the list of people I wish I'd met at the beginning of this whole business. Would've been more fun and productive but just like with the job offers and stuff recently... Better late than never, right?

Those That Refuse To Change - Fail!

Checks pulse - I'm still alive!

Well the 'Survivor' project is finally all finished. What an achievement - the worlds 1st interactive 'Choose Your Own Adventure' film in existence. It's brilliant, although its important to note that not a lot of people wanted to support me or the project. Some I'd done favours for who did sod all in return, over 300 people contacted in some way to help design the interactive feature - Although, 90% of students you ask, if it doesn't involve a grade on a piece of paper, only having to turn up for the odd hour per week in late afternoon and having most of the job done for them already - don't waste your time.



I've submitted the project to a few festivals already -
a good one that accepted it 'Best Shorts Competition' whilst a couple of others already having shot it down  (they never give you the reason). Anyhow, I was more interested in having it return a job to me more than anything. I'm still yet to hear back from 'Ubisoft' & 'Playstation' and a couple of other places but there's already been three companies of interest who've come back to me already.



Machinima -
asked me to become a contributor but have done sod all since when I jumped through all the application hoops - chasing has returned 'zero' results.
Pretty Simple Games - took me through a couple of stages in becoming one of their mission designers for their popular online gaming platform for that game you've probably ignored from that annoying friend on Facebook sending you 'Criminal Case' requests - yep, that's the one. The office is based in Paris, as luxurious as that sounded they didn't leave the salary - I hate it when companies advertise this way, its like walking into one of those restaurants that don't advertise the prices on their menu. Seemed a bit weird they limited me to a 'word count (600 words)' but they demanded 1 detective, 2 suspects, 2 pieces of evidence, a murder weapon, 2 locations, dialogue for all and memorable characters. I honestly delivered the best you could get within the time I had only to receive my rejection 3 weeks later. I would love to meet the person who beat me on that one day - I'd need to see it to believe it.

Volvo - was an unexpected treat that came up from an email I got in touch with regarding them needing someone to basically shoot and edit their future training videos. I had to put a 5 minute video together on 'Volvo Cars & Safety' using pre-shot footage pinched from the internet. Bit bizarre but I did it as part of what I was expected to present at my interview less than a week later - in Daventry, Northampton. Would you believe it - despite my meticulous route planning etc - I got fucking lost and was late by 20 minutes - FURIOUS!

I got there, the lady who had been in contact with me was lovely as well as her two colleagues. Demystified the film-making process for them and even got asked to storyboard a shoot to hypothetically promote a new product - a bike rack. Totally ALL within my element and despite my mysterious fuck-up of arriving late, which I hate enough from others let alone something I committed myself - I think it went bloody well. They seemed very compatible to work with, I'd be doing what I love and can explain clearly. God, I'd love to do this - BUT even 'this' proved unsuccessful, they rejected me the same day I had to walk on to a set to play a comical character I was no longer in the mood for.

And finally, 'Pretty Simple Games' in Paris as a 'Mission Designer' - I kind of hate myself for having gone through the process as I didn't get it but it didn't stop my girlfriend from her addiction to it. It's her new 'Candy Crush.' Seriously, what is it with the many girls who don't / can't play "proper" video games, rather than just this stuff? They exist... I know they do!

Anyway, yeah - My 2nd stage entry level was to write a script limited to a 4,000 word count... (I know, weird right?) having to include 2 locations, 2 suspects, 2 pieces of evidence, 1 detective & all characters with memorable dialogue.

Here's what I came up with:

Honestly, not to blow my own trumpet or anything but not a bad piece of story with all these ridiculous restrictions, right? - not to mention a backlog of experience in gaming and plenty more in film which are quite adaptable but... Fuck it, whatever!


Ghost - a film written, directed, produced and to be edited by one of worlds royal class morons who "thinks" he's a filmmaker. Gawd knows how I was convinced I was in capable hands. I had all my 17 lines memorised and geared up ready to go. The guy was over an hour late turning up to his set with 'NO' good reason. Cast himself in his film as protagonist with morbid acting professionalism - but neither he nor anyone else knew their lines. Was mortified - not only were they shooting without a shot list, they were shooting whilst allowing people to read their lines of the script on the table or their phones - WHAT THE FUCK?
The list goes on and to finish it all I walked off having caught a bad fever from one of the actresses and a chest infection from the other supporting actor. As my mate Ryan said during a catch up a few days later; "At least you walked away with something!" - Gotta love that guy!  :)

This is why I'm not holding my breath on the results: Hope you enjoy it as much as some of the rest of us have... Seriously, get ready for one of the most shocking film experiences of your life... & not in a good way!



Okay... NOW get ready for the follow up 'tribute act' (cheat: go to 2:35 on below video) by two of the most gifted in comedy mates I've got - these guys are superb. If they don't get picked up I'll be very surprised - ENJOY!


Anyway, On the plus side I met a couple of good actors and a costume designer who I liked working with but I'm just tired of this lack of respect for rookie filmmakers NOT getting the right help when they "clearly" need it and disrespecting some of us who give their time and energy for nothing to see it go to waste - Good luck getting us back for the sequel mate!

By the way - Remember the initial Volvo task I was assigned for the interview I mentioned earlier? My girlfriend was working as a 'Marketing Assistant' for the Dorset's 'Superfast Broadband' project, that you probably saw on your TV's in early to mid-2015 whereby someone just planted a shitty camera in her hand and basically said; "Go film someone's experience of their own connection then come back and edit it together." - Guess what, it looked crapp and just alike her employer, had no damn clue!

Naturally, it wasn't her fault - what was she gonna do - Say "no" to the people who paid her wages? Nevertheless, it wasn't long before she sought me out for help whilst I'm trying to do other things, annoyed it being something she couldn't grasp in a couple of hours.
A lot of my industry mates including myself ask that ONE simple question:
Why don't they get someone in to do this professionally?

There's this retarded notion I pointed out in my last blog that illustrates the absurdity of this shit in our beloved film-making arena.
We spend money, time and energy training in this stuff yet tight asses like these guys think its something 'anybody can do' then act all surprised it comes out looking like a bag of shit... All we end up doing is do the 'I told you so' whilst they get angry we know more about our own trade than they do... Stupid - Learn to change your thinking or at least 'engage it' or you're going to fail - simple!

At the strain of a friend of mine, I've got my website at LONG last so the only thing I'll be keeping on this account is of course the blog you're reading now but otherwise, it just makes things look a hell of a lot more organised now - so a shout to the awesome Rebecca Gaines for doing that:

www.danfamproductions.co.uk

Concern to express that I'm almost at the end of my joke of a course with Bournemouth University! What a waste of money. At least I met some nice people but for £24,000 you would think that the bullshit they claim on the initial prospectus would have been delivered upon by now.

Express all the problems and suggestions you have, they don't care. The vice chancellor receives a 6-figure salary, the lecturers receive around £30,000 for doing less than half the work or hours you see those on £15,000 - £18,000 (who having been one of the many of them before... BUST OUR BLOODY ASSES IN FOR YEARS). I'd had enough recently of this practice taking the piss, seeing how this one lecturer manipulates others into doing everything for him, the graduation show, the script clinic, even his own lectures - the worst, lazy, uninspiring teacher, I've ever met - a bloke called Resh! - £100 if you find one student of courses student's who have anything nice to say about him.

I got out of a pitch session with him recently, after he's already made a mockery out of our writing ambitions and gave me 5 minutes to pitch him my latest feature script in 5 minutes. YEP - the 1st to admit as you know I hate pitching but can't say I was inclined to make the effort for a guy who makes none himself. Knock yourself out and give me an average feedback score, mate - Really couldn't give a shite for your opinion anymore (in case you hadn't guessed!)
One of his questions regarding a mate of mine Emma's was "So did you phone up any production companies to get that quote for your budget?"
- yeah, of course she did, you cretin... "No! I'm not kidding" I was there in the room when he said it... Yet a lot of students are still so hung up on what grade he gives them... It's was like asking a monkey to judge at an arts class... Baffling!

The students don't argue of course for sake of feeling threatened of having their latest assignment marked by him. Rather than at school, where your papers are marked by an external examining body, at uni its all in their court for them to mark so you can't look me in the eye and say staying on their sweet side isn't in your interest - Yeah, you know what, 'fuck you, pal' I work 6 times harder than most (ask anyone who knows me!) and speaking of school, it was longer hours, harder work and far more suited to preparing people for the world of work than your propaganda crapp.

Another, lecturer whom I respected a bit more planned a career workshop ('At long fucking last') to give the students an insight into the things they should be considering. My disgustingly helpful nature felt compelled to send him my own LinkedIn page, website, IMDB credits, Stage 32 page, filmography and useful links if they'd assist the planning of the lecture any further + was (stupidly) expecting a bit of feedback for anything I may be missing myself.
What did he do? - ask if I wanted to take half the class talking about them. Sure, you pay me your wages mate, will do. Then again, I don't think that the others would appreciate that none too much nor myself, nor the (false) integrity of the University!
Not interested in getting him sacked though as we're all agreed he's makes a bigger effort with the students. He's even been able to help me with a few things in the past so... Guess thats something.

Readers go Google the following:
'Bournemouth University £2 million grant to study the relationship between humans and chickens' &/OR 'Bournemouth University cost of new Talbot Campus buildings' (One being 2 million, the other twenty million) then ask any of us about the unused flat screen TV's in Weymouth House nobody asked for but being told they didn't have £200 to spare for a grad show to celebrate and support the people who're paying towards their salaries nor even drive them up to where it takes place in London, themselves.

Any wonder why we write fictional stories for how we'd like things to be when we've got shit like this going on under our noses?

Speaking of which, the entire friggin' country had an opportunity to change recently with the elections. There's the opinion of Frankie Boyle: "Just depends on which way you wanna get fucked" which I can't help but support as its true. Neither Conservative or Labour works anymore so why didn't anyone give the Liberal Democrats a chance? A lot of people still stupid enough to vote UKIP who managed to convince the failings of the country are largely to do with immigrants... Yeah, right. Naturally, the ONE party that seems to make any sense is the green party but aren't powerful enough to stand a chance - fuck knows why.
People ALWAYS moan about the way things are in this country, despite how bad it is in other places of the world but most just like to moan about he status quo rather than do anything about it - it drives me mad. AGAIN - refuse to change... You fail!

Did I continue my shit life working in shit sales jobs, moaning about living in one shithole to another, being backstabbed by one shit-muncher to the next?

"No", I said - enough's enough and got myself into education in order to turn my life around and I've achieved so much in 3 years alone that I never had time nor money to do before.

Its wrong what universities are allowed to get away with. Most people would agree that they don't like being fucked in the ass but suppose the lubricant of a possible high 2:1 or a 1st is just an easy way of buying their silence (which STILL means fuck all in the industry anyway) apart from me. Once again, I seem to be the only person who's got a pair to do anything about it.

The only thing we're all stuck in we CAN'T change that must is the indie film-makers being exploited all the time but God knows that there's those of us who will fight against this for the rest of our lives if it kills us - I'm just one of them.


It's still funny seeing some of these graduate kids posting on Facebook on their walls, stuff like: 'No more assignments and essays - Hurray' ...kind of stuff when they're about to learn the 'real' world is actually 5 times harder and they're gonna eat their words. What you gonna do when mummy or daddy can't bail you out and there's no student status to secure your student loans?

I'm sick of the bullshit is all. I don't respect the government anymore than I do the failings of education and the laziness of most students I've met. I've worked my ass off and now all's I want is a job in the field I love working for and a respectable, well-earned salary to prove that change is WORTH fighting for. If nothing else life will finally make sense.

Favours - The Filmmakers Currency

I have been to hell and back working on the most exciting yet most gruelling project anyone could ever wish to take on. An interactive film - Not a job for the faint hearted!

Split across projects, I’ve been working on something that aims to close the gap between the film and gamers market for the last few months. You know, I’m sick & tired of the dinosaur ‘that’s so childish’ attitudes towards gamers from those who think they know better. Look at the market motherfuckers… Tell me you don’t want a piece of that pie!

Having been born in 1984, I’d like to think I’ve been a gamer from the industry’s very beginning and can’t help but feel a strange feeling of both happiness and disappointment that my 12 year younger brother, Oliver was able to start his interaction with them at a far more advanced stage. Take a look at some of these amazing brands like ‘Assassin’s Creed,’ ‘Metal Gear Solid,’ ‘Grand Theft Auto’, ‘Resident Evil.’

Even fossils like ‘Sonic The Hedgehog’ & ‘Mario’ get their own reboots too. Wish I could say the same for cinema. Fuck me, if I see yet another DC Comic or Marvel sequel or reboot I’ll scream… Buy your earplugs now as we ALL already know that’s already going to happen.

 The point: I feel the chance to be original in cinema is beaten by gaming! I’d like to say the same for TV but since most are such a pile of closed doors for unknown writers, we’ve got to seek alternate means of standing out, would you not agree?

Needless to say, I’ve been working myself stupid with only a day to spare in the months of madness, which I have already used to send two new animated scripts to the next BFX competition, whilst I attempt to garner support for the release of the project I hope my clairvoyant abilities do not deceive me that will deliver me free from this insane ‘working for scraps’ lifestyle into something far more enjoyable and comfortable.

Only one question remains: How the fuck do I get it out there?

At the end of every film I put into cyberspace, people have now started calling ‘The Cloud’ for some reason, sure I get the couple of hundred views then despite all my hard labour and rally of willing crew and cast, the damn thing just gets forgotten about, when next day one of my friends show me a Youtube clip of a talking cat that attracts over 6.5 million views!!! – (yes, it was hilarious but God help me…) Explain!

Anyway, I’ve greatly revised my approach to this and since I hover around Bournemouth University a lot, I thought, “hmm, sure there’ll be a few in there who study & practice this kind of stuff, lets go have a talk and see if they want to be involved, especially as they’ll be looking for stuff to impress with when they go start seeking jobs?” – I must have emailed dozens of their staff and hundreds of their students and you know how many responses I got? – ZERO!

These places kind of remind me ‘No, Dan – DO judge books by their covers!’ I’m not going to go into another rant about students anymore, in three years I’m still unconvinced 90% of them are anything but a lazy, mollycoddled species that unless they’re not working for a grade / mark given by one or two people on a piece of paper, they simply don’t care.

This has been proven all the more true when I was given a lovely breath of fresh air, working on a recent production at the time
‘Stay With Me' written and produced by a friend of mine, Nicola Hosking. At the time we’d met at the London Screenwriter’s Festival 2014 and said she wanted to get something made herself.
Despite her being a first time director here, she made me 1^st AD (assistant director) to make sure it all came together but this wouldn’t have been possible if she hadn’t put together the crew and cast. Pro’s on every station; camera, sound, actors, music and even the loveliest production assistants you could ask for. Fair enough I had to tell off another power-tripping Director Of Photography 

(… again) who tried over ruling the director.’ 

*NOTE TO ALL CINEMATOGRAPHERS* 

Those of you who love taking control, learn your place. Your job is to make things look good and suggest good ideas – THAT IS ALL. Not happy then piss off! Even as an experienced filmmaker I still see this happening, here’s something to remember:

How many times on a film do you see: Written & Directed by…?

Right – now how many times do you see Cinematography & Directed by…?

-       Yeah, I rest my case, there’s a reason for it and it makes for no exemption of manners, cooperation or ability to enjoy our time together. 

Would you rather make a friend or enemy in this business? – Use your knowledge to encourage & inspire. NOT patronise & condescend!

Anyway, the production was fucking great and “meh, yeah it was bloody freezing” but well worth it. Was one of those productions that reminds you why you get into this damn stuff in the first place, especially when its mostly student-free meaning people pay attention, get there on time and do a good job and respect each others shit – making it all the more rewarding for future contacts etc.

I also happened to meet a guy in animation recently whom was able to add some superb gunfire and things for this interactive project I’d directed following a script consultation I gave him over an animated feature script I agreed to rewrite for him.

New filmmakers, I can’t stress this enough –

“RACK UP YOUR FAVOURS & DON’T SCREW PEOPLE OVER!”

It’s horrible we can ill afford to pay each other anything but at least we can use ‘Favours’ as currency – you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.

A bitter taste has been left in my mouth after some of my stories have been taken away with my time & investment seemingly having counted for nothing, whether they ended up looking good or shit. I’m still being sought after, mostly by students just because they’ve seen something good on my portfolio but all you need nowadays is a computer, Google and the ability to type in their name, followed by a 5-minute meeting. Trust me, if someone’s full of shit, the project will be shit! When YOU get to 30 years of age or more, believe me just be polite and say ‘no.’ You’ve only got time left on Earth to invest not throw away. Like I said before ‘YES – DO Judge!’ – unless you owe them a favour & in my book, you repay them for that, don’t be a wanker – there’s too many of them out there & not enough genuine human beings as it is! Be firm but fair!

As I turn back to my interactive film project, I continue to unwillingly learn yet ANOTHER skill in terms of marketing film projects, which hopefully I can learn to love.

I’ve already picked up attention from ‘Scriptshark’, ‘Raindance’ a core ‘Assassin’s Creed’ actress (before choosing another who I felt resembled the character more, hopefully I don’t regret that – my audience will tell me soon enough) two professional music composers from LA and another in Poland not to mention two separate parties that may be able to sort my U.S & UK promotional needs. Not a bad start, clearly I’m on the right track but please God – remember that as MUCH as I’ve done, learned, spent, sacrificed & emotionally invested, I can’t keep up the way things are forever, no matter how much I love this industry.

 

I’ll die before I go back to the bullshit job circuit out there. I’ve done my several years worth of soul-destroying, unrelated, hard labour – Not asking to be rich, I’ve never and shall never pay the tax on hope (a.k.a; play the lottery). In the end I’ve worked my ass off and expect to get a good living for it and tried to help as many people as I can along the way… So… I dunno...

Come Ooooonnnnnn!!!

Why Writers & Film-Makers Alike Should NOT Be Working For Free

Abuse & Exploitation of film-makers – It has to stop!

I’ve hinted at this before but it’s something that’s not going away and it’s just sent me through two trips to the hospital within the same week and the mother of all migraines.

Lying on a freezing cold bed in A & E for several hours was following on from the biggest project of my life so far, following the post-production of a project when someone I trusted screwed me over on an edit job. The stress of making up for other peoples inadequacies finally caught up with me. Yes, it was said to be over a family bereavement but have to say when I've had bereavements, serious financial worries, health ailments etc all I did was ask for some time away (at worst) to deal with it / them & return as soon as I could. Seriously, if I pulled out for some of the bloody awful traumas and people I've had to deal with in my life, I'd have probably died myself by now.

The shooting of the production specified I was instructed I had to record the video & audio separately (video through our DSLR and audio through an unconnected SQN) for which so long as they were clapped this editor said he would be able to sync it all up and the quality of the sound would be better. Now despite me being incredibly uncomfortable about this arrangement, stupidly allowing myself to trust them just because they owe me for the projects I’ve worked on for them… I agreed. Naturally, I took all the precautions a director & producer should; everybody checks their equipment, batteries, SD cards etc. ALL of which became a problem on the shoot anyway and people asking me CONSTANTLY; “What scene is this, Dan?”, “How do I clap this, Dan?” This was further hindered by being in the middle of a rural location with no toilet facilities and no generators for chargers. Everyone expecting me to orchestrate a miracle here with no time to execute it!

 Anyway, the time that was getting thrown away rather than being able to concentrate on getting some extra nice shots and performances, I was running after everyone else because of this silly edit specification and then when my audio recordist turned out he had made a massive mistake, we had to spend an entire day making up for it, depriving me of what I’ve already mentioned plus the time I wanted to give to my stills photographer with my actors for the projects marketing material.

Production shooting then finished and a big road ahead of me then after a month my editor fails to even produce even a rough cut. He worked on it for barely 3 days before then announcing he can no longer do it. To make matters worse, the footage that was edited, exported to my VFX and music team was full of awful glitches. *head goes in oven!!!

My point is - THIS IS WHY – I’ve had to learn all the trades within film myself. When people screw you over (& they will sooner or later) no matter their obligations to you, you MUST be ready to jump on it yourself!

Unfortunately, this is not a one off and soon I began to realise just how much bullshit resides in the industry but also when I’m forced to work with students - this ego that they think they already know it all... Why? Don’t get me wrong, other filmmakers can be just as bad and alike these guys, there are those which are willing to give it a good old go but there’s this overwhelming majority that insist on putting on this staged performance of professionalism as if they’ve done it all before and know what they’re doing. Despite the fact that they should have some inkling, their practical experiences are next to nothing, which should never be the case before tackling a production.

A key flaw of student filmmakers when they begin is that they don’t know where to start when looking for professional actors, nor what that involves, nor how to direct them let alone even how to shoot them. Most of the time they are all shot in WIDE shots with poor audio quality and unless they have a writer involved – its usually a piss poor story and FUCKING awful dialogue they sue to describe everything - Aaaaagh!

Ironically, this is not even what infuriates me the most. It’s the shit level of communication. Some may say this will happen in the industry anyway, which unfortunately is true but that is due to variables beyond someone’s control like illness, weather etc. During my time at Bournemouth University it moreover seems to be a case of “I can’t be arsed” and/or "I’ll do it later (like last minute), it’ll be alright" and people who like to be organised like myself are seen to be ‘taking it too seriously or over worrying.’

Funny how I keep getting asked all the time to work for these kinds of people all the time yet the ones who fall into the lasses-faire category don’t… Hmm… I’ll tell you the reason; I give a shit!

The quality of my work is reflected in everything I’m involved in, which is why it makes me furious if others on a production aren’t or like I said – have no clue what they’re doing and end up dragging us all down with them. Recently, I got a ‘LinkedIn’ request from someone who directed that bloody awful ‘Hazel Silence’ film I somehow agreed to write for them. First of all this idiot hadn’t even met me in person to talk about it. Secondly, he completely fucked it up. Thirdly, (thank God he didn’t) no accreditation for me was given.

How many people am I going to be shafted by before I can finally stop taking chances with ungrateful time-wasters and leave this plain of exploitation?

There’s one thing I’m sure we can all relate to.  Why people think it’s unreasonable to pay us for our expertise in such fields.

Clients in the past have come to me saying things like;

Q. How much would it cost me / us to get a script for this / have you shoot this for us / edit this together?

A. Unless I have the specifics at this point it depends on the amount of hours in the day they want me for, how many crew, cast involved, location, would I have to hire my own equipment or use theirs? Adequate transport for me (and possibly my team) and the equipment… Can you give me an idea and I can give you a quote.

Even if I could overlook all this, these bullshit responses come back saying, that’s too much and / or, we’ll do it ourselves.

Why, oh, why do so many pricks think they can top my experience compared with their own usually? I wouldn’t claim to be a better writer or director etc than someone who’s obviously got more contacts and credits etc. MORE to the point I wouldn’t be some idiot working for a company claiming, oh this filmmakers rates are too expensive for what I need / want, I’ll do it myself… Really? So you’re going to train, manage and take care of everything yourself and split your attention across various areas because you can’t be bothered to employ someone who’s going to make you look much better than you could, save you much more money in the long run and could actually become a long-term asset to you and / or your business?

It’s the 21^st century, people like this aren’t going to read books on this so here’s how the roles break down, click on the red text:

Breakdown of Production Roles In Film-making

The Discipline Of Writing 101

You know what a professional new writer is expected to do for example?

Come up with the idea (usually), grip the reader’s attention in the first 10 pages, construct characters (their backstories, goals, relationships) make it all believable within a certain number of pages (keeping it well paced, interesting, as unique as possible all correctly formatted in an industry standard), knowing the story back to front (to be able to pitch it, summarise it in a logline, synopsises of different lengths, break it down into act structures, outlines and treatments). Accepting criticism, rewriting material (sometimes for the most insane reasons), then to go out and plug away in their own time, the fight for an agent and/or producer, scrounge together money for submission fees for festivals, competitions etc who can also just turn around and say ‘no’ anyway.

Concluded by since you’ve spent all your time, energy and money towards being the best writer you can be, you still have to pay rent, bills, food, transport etc with whatever qualification(s) you have but since employers 95% of the time just see WRITER on your CV, without knowing anything of the above the chances of you being ignored are pretty high.

There’s a bonus for those in relationships too… Writers (new one’s especially) barely have time for one, which can be sodding awful at times.

In fact I made a short comedy radio play about this in 2014,  called MEDIA WARS (below) take a look.

In the end, I must have invested tens of thousands to know what I know in my industry by now and whilst there will be places where the cost outweighed the benefit, why bother when so many idiots are of the opinion that film-making is something, fun, easy, whimsical and requires little expertise, preparation or passion to achieve?

You know what I do if I’m wrong… I apologise!

You know what I do if I don’t know something… I ask, listen and learn!

You know what I do when I’m needed somewhere… I turn up 5 – 10 minutes early!

So if you don’t know me by now (“… you’ll never, ever, ever know me – ha, bloody haa”)

I work damned hard every day, I strive to make every story the best it can be no matter what role I’m assigned. I’ve never cheated in my life in any respect, I’m trustworthy, reliable, self-motivated loyal and will continue to do this until I’m dead… Even if it does mean, I never get a holiday for years, a decent home or even get to create a better family than the one I got, one day.

…I’m Dan Tonkin people and I’m still fighting hard!