The Media Production Industry - We Love It But There Are Times... Grrrr!

Think I'm on the verge of believing 2015 may well just be the best year I've ever had. Whilst I love my filmmaking to bits, I obviously enjoy the writing part the most.

My favourite festival in the entire world - obviously the 'London Screenwriters Festival' ran by the fantastic Chris Jones have opened up a new 'Create50' project called 'The Impact', which involves the unsung voices of the scriptwriting community to converge and script a 2 page story that plays with the concept of 'The World Is About To End' and writers are allowed to write a short story for any stage of the event they desire; here are mine.

Naturally, I hope at least one gets picked but even if they don't, it's bloody terrific seeing the work of the underdogs having their work up there for all the world to see. The last LSF project '50 Kisses' has become one of my favourite films of all time and I know whatever result comes from 'The Impact' will probably be my next.

The really interesting part was when I received a tweet notification from one of my most respected writers KT Parker mentioned me in a comment about being listed alongside her in 'Screencraft's Bahamas International Film Festival Screenwriters Residency Program' (... a mouthful I know but) if you're a writer, you know how HUGE of a deal that is. Currently, we've reached the quarter-finals, so here's to hoping.

The project (you can find a 10 page sample of on my website) is called 'Realm' and takes some of the best movies from my time, such as 'Star Wars', 'Game Of Thrones' & video game franchise 'Final Fantasy' - basically guns, swords & magic together and a hero's journey (non-writer geeks, I refer you to the great Christopher Vogler book... "A Hero's Journey" - how tentative!) of an unlikely anti-hero soldier trying to follow in the footsteps of his mothers legacy until he discovers it to be a complete lie and is forced to confront his inner demons to save the world.

I put my all into making that feature script the best it could possibly be and despite initial feedback, I held my belief in it and seeing it alongside a KT Parker script, in a mighty competition like this is what gives a writer the extra encouragement to keep going... I know the odds are harsh but the winners would be receiving attention from Vince Gerardis (Game Of Thrones), Dan Guando (Weinstein Talent Acquisition), Elizabeth Hunter (Charmed & ER)... and thats only to name a few!

Another big name I had to drop was slightly bizarre how it came to be but 'Shore Scripts' got in touch with regards to an essay I wrote at (*cough) Bournemouth University regarding Pentagon Film Script Approval and have since publicised it online, which has invited some nice compliments from inquisitive readers and certainly makes use out the time I had to put into it some time ago... Lets face it, how useful is an essay ever going to be to you outside the walls of education - especially if its the media industry? Maybe something in copywriting if you're lucky!

Some superb job offers have started to come through. CHS Creative had responded to an application I had completely forgotten about and brought me in to 2 long interviews for a 'Senior Creative' Position. Wouldn't luck have it? - the company had worked out they couldn't support me on the salary I was after at the last minute but thats not to say I didn't enjoy myself and the guys I would have worked for seemed lovely and even followed up with a reassuring phone call to thank me for the extra effort I had taken for my presentation and at least some future commissioned work for shooting their adverts is now on the cards.

Getting through the storm of absurd underpaid callings out there for someone like myself who can offer so much towards a role, has been draining but I'm starting to receive the better producer offers at long last with some highly protective job recruitment agencies.

You know, whilst I understand where independent filmmakers are coming from, I can't forgive the established companies that wish to enlist professional filmmakers & actors for 'zero' pay or minimum wage. It's absolutely incredible how much they want a standard videographer to know... The job titles come in various forms but it seems they all want;

- a scriptwriter

- a storyboard artist

- a producer

- a production manager

- a cinematographer (with their own kit & simultaneous focus pull abilities)

- a video editor (fluent in, photoshop, adobe premier pro, after effects, final cut and / or avid)

- 1 - 5 years worth of experience (usually with another firm)

- previous broadcast credits

... the list goes on!

ALL in one! - for £6.50 per hour to perhaps £20k per year...?!

We're talking about 7 jobs in this example at £6.50 per hour, so if you put that into a salary, you're looking at £98,000 upwards!!!

Naturally, there are "always" going to be extra duties that go with "any" job you sign up for but in light of this, why is it so unreasonable when all we'd likely to be asking for is probably less than half this amount? It's that look they give you... "Oh, thats way too much..." Well then realise what you're asking.

We filmmakers invest a lot of time, energy, sacrifices and Gawd knows what else over the course of many years to know and perform what we do. I was watching 'Question Time' last night, over some of the country's latest cuts in the NHS and a GP said that most in her profession are resigning and taking off to New Zealand as a result. She stated, it takes "12 YEARS" to train a GP, so... Well, just think about what I'm getting at.

... Just another reason why the raising of student fees amongst other things is so insane because not only will half of them be without a job to pay it back, young adults are free to change their mind about their career choice(s) and even if not, they're without a decent enough job to start making the repayments, correct?

Before this becomes boring and political, what stands is that after all I've been through I'm not prepared to under sell myself anymore than I have in the past and as for my fellow filmmaker family out there;

I "know" sometimes you'll have no choice but its down to you to figure out how much you're worth (being honest with yourself) then go and don't stop until you get it! - You owe it yourself!

My Film-Making Process... an abbreviation believe it or not

Following what has proven to be a pretty good time over the last couple of weeks, clearly thing's are starting to take off again despite some of those low moments. Some recent successes have been a great boost.

'Survivor' won 'Best Shorts Competition'

'Stay With Me' has been shortlisted as a contender at the 

'Rahway International Film Festival'

'Purgatory' has also been granted an official selection for the strangest film festival I've been in yet, called the;

'International Psychoanalytical Association Video Award'

I've also had another couple of job offers come my way. Whilst uni graduates celebrate a grade expressing the opinions of two lecturers, hopefully things of an international scale and my extended experience will help put me at the front not to mention my interests of a career and not a job with a teenager's salary!

This blog happens to stem off something that comes up every time I get a new film-maker asking for advice and despite ALL the books you can read or one of those blogs that start: ‘X reasons why X happens’ I thought it may be less patronising just to open the book on how I do things and people can try and / or say what they like afterwards.

"My method is by NO means 'fool proof' - Things WILL go wrong... What you do to fix them is what makes you a good director"

 Here we go -

1 – The Script

I have trained harder than in any other trade to perfect this the most because if you get this part wrong, you’re already screwed. I believe 'you can film a bad film from a good script, you can't film a good film with a bad script!'

Doesn’t matter what size the story is, if you don’t have a comprehensible one – it will be boring. So many times you hear people ask; "so what’s it about…?" Think of this question like small talk, people (especially English people) will want to say the least amount, so if you’ve not got a response in one simple line and they start carrying on – unless they really loved it, they’ll say “the story was shit,” indicating simplicity as a must have... Ever wonder why British small talk: "You alright?' is always met with 'yeah, not bad!' is 90% commonplace? It's the same as the 'like' button on 'Facebook' - its the laziest option for people to validate their notification and appearance in someone's life / opinion without having to really give a shit. Hence why loglines become so important in film (one line synopsis') not to be confused with taglines (one line sellers) - See some examples (Lucy V Hay).

What do I do?

How many pages am I trying to do this in? Get the inciting incident as close to the beginning as I can, every word, every action, every line of spacing, every object, scene, age, pause, transition, description MUST matter. Get the character to drive the story, what their goal is and why, what stops them and make the achievement believable and go out in style before the FADE OUT.

What I Hate!

People who just pick up scriptwriting software, writing sludge, not having read anything before and expecting me to appease it and / or those who can’t handle feedback and those people who dish out something that hasn’t even been scanned well enough for spelling & grammar (yeah alright, even I can miss this on occasion not on every fucking page!) but... Even worse – those that try explaining everything with dialogue! It’s lazy, un-cinematic, unprofessional & shite!

2 – Producing

I am ‘very’ critical of my own work but usually get a 2^nd opinion I can respect whilst rewriting anything that is difficult to procure, which usually includes certain locations, props, costumes etc then think, “how much can I shoot without spending anything?” – why? Because I’m not rich and without a production company to fund it, not my team nor I are going to make a penny from this so writing to budget is paramount.

What I do?

I give myself at least a month before I intend to film to get the equipment, crew & cast, locations, props, call sheets, risk assessments, transportation details, audition space etc. Put the cast call out on www.castingcallpro.co.uk  or meticulously hunt down who I can on www.Spotlight.com, filter the auditions, give them a choice of two dates, get 3 good choices per lead role as they will have other work come up & remembering to have a backup & for fuck sake guys - use ‘proper actors’ – people who know what they’re doing & can prove it!

Crew are just as important and I don’t have the time to back up everyone's availability so if you are starting without a decent cinematographer, sound recordist with some experience under their belt etc then DO NOT produce this yourself. Get someone else to do it or be prepared to work your ass off and seek them out, booking them and reminding them and reminding them and reminding them – you cannot lose these guys, they are now your team & its your job to retain them and deliver something good – do THAT and they’ll come back again! Someone pulls out – TOUGH - do your swearing and cursing elsewhere, come up with a solution and get yourself back on schedule.

Then I ensure I’ve got a 1^st AD for the shoot to crack the whip – Someone assertive but not a dick who think’s their in charge. From here on on in, I keep hold of all reins until the shoot dates. Finally, I do a couple more read throughs, a couple of team meetings if I can manage it for people to ask any of their questions, get that shot list finalised and make sure I’m satisfied and I’m ready to shoot.

What I Hate!

Amateurs that have tried to organise it all last minute, people that drop out without good reason, people who have arrived on set and didn’t ask their questions beforehand when they should have done. People who have a problem obeying authority and those who don’t communicate and constantly need chasing, wasting my time, the teams time and making us all worry. This is no excuse in the digital age. Please don’t use the words “I was busy” – without context and an initial warning or something, this is meaningless & do it more than once, I will look at replacing you at my earliest opportunity, rather than it become a problem further on.

3 – Directing

This is it! I’ve got my team, everyone’s there (some late, which my 1^st AD should've bollocked them on at the earliest opportunity) now its ON!

What I do?

My performers become my core concern, I take them through the scene THEN the shot we’re about to shoot, marking their positions then watching them through the monitor / view finder at every rehearsal and take. I have all my “as ifs” directions at the surface of my head to alter the performance and I don’t expect so much as a mouse fart to disturb any take.

Someone fucks up a line – no problem. Reset & do it again. Watch the action carefully until I shout “CUT” – my 1^st AD asks me; “how’s that Dan?” I ask my DoP, my sound recordist (if I suspect) “any problems?” – they respond thumbs up or down, we mark a new take and go again OR I say; “Awesome guys, lets go again!” the only thing that could’ve gone wrong here would be the performers, needing new direction – provided ALL this is cool, I get ‘3 TAKES MINIMUM’ for each thing on my shot list and my 1^st AD keeps cracking the whip with their time keeping, I ask: “How we doing for time?” they reply, “we’re running behind” or “you’re alright for now” – NEVER, “you’ve got plenty of time” – you take the pressure off and leave no room for errors later – I must be kept under pressure!

ONE HIGHLY IMPORTANT thing, I “always” remain open to ideas and regulate them. I may just get passed something I may have completely forgotten or under-thought/cooked – I may be in charge but everyone there has the same interest as me – to make this thing the best it can be. Remember – you’re in charge but don’t be a dick! 

Each hour is important. I work my ass off to give people that half hour break and feed my team with the best I can afford. Yeah, my legs are made out of steel but theirs may not be and at ‘every’ opportunity I’m shouting the words of encouragement out and telling whatever jokes I can – Keep everyone motivated! 

I make sure I pick up whatever shots I may’ve missed and make sure the sound recordist to get some atmos / wildtrack to layer on to other takes in the edit later. But no matter what, making sure I review the rushes at the end of each day with my 1st AD, transfer them safely, double-check all shots, audio, video are all captured. 

Tip: Do NOT format your SD card(s), unless absolutely necessary. Pick up another and it’s on to the next day. Trust me, if you keep things as organised as possible, you’re editor’s life will be kept far easier for later – & for God sake… Keep them safe!

 

What I Hate!

Disorganised people who haven’t checked their kit before they get to set - Doesn’t matter what it is. People who have acted the professional all up until this point now because they know squat they’re costing us all greatly. People who don’t know when to shut up and when to suggest ideas. Those who don’t respect each others roles, people who don’t know when to back off, directors of photography who think they know best – “No, pal, you’re here to suggest some ideas, do your best with what’s been given and be friendly & p.s, I told you, you wouldn’t touch that storyboard nor the shot list once you got here, trust me, its not my 1^st rodeo” 

(–GOD, I’ve got so many of these examples. Usually, the older they are, the worse!

4 – Editing

I believe this is the most undervalued part in the process next to the scriptwriting. It takes forever. When anyone tells me; “Oh, it shouldn’t take that long, its easy really” – Bullshit! That is the sign of a bad editor and / or someone really cocky you don’t want to risk working with. Believe me, I’ve been there!

What I Do?

Write out a planned order of transcoding, syncing ALL video with audio (if recorded separately) and stick to it. Ensure you watch ALL rushes and list each one with an easy thumbnail e.g; Sc1, WIDE, 3, Tanya approaches John = Scene, type of shot, take number, shot description. Every single last shot marked the same way so my editing software places it into an order I can find easily later. Once everything is there ONLY THEN can you start building your film and putting it together. I usually start with the last take for each shot and work backwards – why not? – that’ll be 80% likely to be your best performance for obvious reasons so I encourage everyone to start there.

Concentrate on one thing at a time;

Story - get all the video and audio into position as best you can

Video – switch up the takes a little, cut what can be cut, replace others, see what works best

Audio – Compensate one take’s for another if its better if you think you can, cut things out, add your transitions in & get those

Music – Go get your music! Loads of them out there, send them a rough cut and give them an audible idea of what you’re looking for

Grading – Time to exaggerate those scene colours and give the project the cinematic ‘feel’ that you’re going for and most film festivals you submit to will know if you haven’t bothered so do it! Darken, lighten, set up those that feel you need to look more orange (positive moments) or blue (need I state the obvious) and be careful!

Result – You need to fine tune all this for aaaaaaaaages before you’re happy. Get other opinions, your own eyes will fail to spot hiccups after spending so long with it.

What I Hate!

Editors who ask for a script and / or shot list but don’t bother reading it and in fact leave you feeling you’re babysitting them rather than letting them get on with it. What’s the point in being in a creative field if you can’t bring your own common sense and own innovation into it? Editors who don’t ask questions or keep in contact or carry the same annoying traits of a stereotypical DoP who railroads in and loses track of where the shots are, complaining shots are missing, trying to blame the entire crew when all the time it was sitting right in front of their nose. “Seriously dude – stick to the script, have some ideas, stay in contact addressing any questions, concerns etc & lets just get through it and try to enjoy it, shall we?”

5 – You’re done – Now make sure you show some gratitude

Number 1! – You wouldn’t have this project without your crew and cast so making damn sure they’ve all got their IMBD listings, LinkedIn recommendations, showreel footage etc is the least you can do. If you’re a production company or an investor who’s promised payment and coverage of expenses, do this within a week tops. Don’t be a twat – I’ve seen people do and get away with this so many times and it pisses me off. Then of course if desired send it off to a few festivals via www.withoutabox.com or www.filmfreeway.com and keep in touch with who you can from the production – if they’ve proved themselves and were good to work with, why wouldn’t you?

Won’t say what I hate, think, I’ve already made it quite clear…

Anyway, there you have it. Can probably say more but that’s my preferred method as simple and honest as I can illustrate and whatever you decide out there. ALL I want to know if I’m working with you one day is, you use your manners, are professional, ambitious and honest. Not much to ask, right? Yeah, well you’d be surprised if you heard some of my stories but that’s for another day.

Progress In Work!

INT. WRITERS STUDIO - DAY

Dan (aged 30) is working his fucking ass off like a twat missing lunch again as he tarts up his online presence, job hunting 30 positions a day, chasing leads & the next likely project when.

BING.

A new email - a job offer to write creative content for a corporate paying client (not exactly an impressive pay packet but hali-pissing-luliah! At least 5 months worth of rent taken care of for now + a few drinks & restaurants dinners with my girlfriend & the chance to attend some nights out and stuff with some mates - having a bit of fun & the chance to take things a little easier!

The project 'is' based at the forsaken Bournemouth University but I work "proper", "paid" full-time hours again, doing what I do best & love - writing!
Long story short, its writing content for a new bespoke program that is designed to test a response teams problem solving & management skills dealing with natural disasters according to the profession they work within, against the clock.

The pay off is that I know far more about creating content than they do so I've got all the skills and contacts they want but whether I get the director's role is another matter.

Also received one call from a London based theatre production company who want to talk to discuss me filming their next performance in a couple of months + an email from the Women's Tennis Association in Florida on the same request...
On top of this, also got a PSS (post-graduate support scheme) application approved in case I wanted to pursue an MA in cinematography... "Not if I can help it BU. You're a last resort - greedy bastards but wouldn't mind using it to steal one twats job from under his nose."

The uni won't even load the video editing & scriptwriting software I need to my personal laptop, despite I'm even now kind've working for them - seriously, cheers for all your letters of recommendation but for fuck sake... Where do you get off... How far can you take the piss?

Was at a sheer low recently. I was about a week away from having to sign up to the job centre despite all my hard work down here had that job not come in. ANYONE can tell you how hard I work and if I struggled this bad... God help that younger lot!

Now let me just get this off my chest - there's people who wanted to know what finally flipped my lid a couple of weeks ago regarding that useless lecturer, I mentioned in my last blog.
He'd done sod all for the year he's supposed to be in control of and was now micro-managing the students paying towards his salary to orchestrate our year's grad show + couldn't even be fucked (yet again) to drive the minibus himself... I volunteered, to help out but didn't know this obnoxious piece of work was going to have the nerve, sitting next to me, getting a free ride at the time.

THE LAST STRAW came when I'd just noticed a call after unplugging my headphones, receiving a call from my mate Tom, asking for where I was (with regards to picking up the minibus with him). Gotta admit, wasn't best pleased when I'd earlier pretended to pull out of the deal to maybe help them gain a bit of perspective - FAIL! I got nothing but childish, cowardly backlash from him and 2 others because they're too afraid to say anything similar to the ungrateful lecturer they're paying for who was too busy sitting on his ass.

Whatever... Tom's a mate... & a helluva good organiser and wasn't going to let him down... I was 5 mins away for the agreed time to meet him at 10am; "Hey, Tom" followed by "Where are you, dude, Resh keeps calling me, shouting & telling me to hurry up!"

Response: "Tom... Tell Resh, Dan said to go fuck himself! I'm not going to let you guys down tonight but I find it a bit rich that a bloke has to sacrifice his right to a final drink with you guys tonight so he can get a free ride, ignore his calls... I'll be there in 5 minutes"

I'M SUPER PISSED - How... GOD how... Can you not see this lecturer's behaviour as rude, ungrateful & completely unprofessional? Not to mention the thing wasn't going to start until 7pm in the evening for crying out loud - MORON!

I gave him a royal bollocking when he sat himself beside me. The shock of his life - even then he had to defend himself behind my course mate Ben... Chicken shit!
Was awesome having Ben there anyway, good God - would've gone out of my mind or worse!
Wasn't surprising Resh still didn't give a shit and made a good effort to put that on display for everyone to see at long last.

Was nice to spend some time with my mate Vas once we all got there. Hadn't seen the guy since my stay for the London Screenwriter's Festival. Still lives in that flash apartment in Vauxhall & we managed to start laughing on what a joke we'd come to discover from both our experiences in higher education.

The grad show was well organised - BECAUSE IT WAS THE SCRIPTWRITERS - All the while we're wondering about the ONLY thing Resh had been harping on ALL year about putting us in a room with literary agents for a chance to leave with representation - GUESS WHAT?
"Yep... THAT turned out to be a load of bollocks too!"

At least I got to catch up with Ollie & Tim from the alumni... That was cool but soon enough 'Resh Wanted' everyone out, to head back to the minibus otherwise they were going to 'lock us in.'

I couldn't believe it... the same guy I'd defended earlier who Resh was harassing was helping him achieve it & the lovely Ben (one who gave ME grief over thinking I was going to initially pull out of the driving favour) took off, bolting back... I'd TOLD everyone, I'd done this before & they wouldn't do any such thing, they just send you out a different way... Nope, lets obey Resh. Understandably, Ben was super-pissed having done it for nothing... NOT understandably, rather than bollock the guy who ordered he do this, again he kept silent... as did everyone else. I worry for these guys, I really do!
Everyone knows I'd given him a loud, strong piece of my mind but there you go, guess no-one cares to stand up for themselves anymore... Not the kind of people you're going to remember in films... Nor in real life ironically.

Couldn't believe the fucking words this twat said to his students when he got back in the minibus:
"So what did we learn this evening boys & girls?"
Had I not stayed silent, the response would have been: "That you're a c**t!"

AFTER 3 YEARS OF UNIVERSITY STUDENT LIFE - I'm unhappy to say I've never known such a lazy culture in my life. And for someone who has the audacity to stand in front of a room of people who hate him for knowing the amount of debt they've incurred whilst he exclaims: "I love my job!"
I think my respect for lecturers is completely out of the window (esp. if I got the chance to chuck him out of one lol)

RANT OVER - I PROMISE... What a joke! Phew!

Onto the AWESOME stuff!

I'm not the only one who thought the course is pretty bad after a consultation I had with one of my most respected script guru's - Lucy V Hay, she was hardly impressed either when she did it apparently.

But YES - I got an exclusive skype conversation with her over a feature film I wrote earlier this year. You know, it was one of those stories where you keep trying to work out what the best way to continue is until there was too much of an imbalance I decided I needed the Gordon Ramsay of the script edit world to give her opinion.

First off, she asked me to explain what it was about (presumably as a logline). Give me 5 minutes, a pen & paper, I could tell you... Ask me outright in person (half- star struck) & watch me screw up totally :(

I kept apologising but things got slightly easier to talk about as we talked more. YES - there was too much dialogue, YES - she too wanted to see more of the world I'd created, suggested I go back to the idea of having the mum as the bad guy (... but I really liked my dragon thingy & a 'thematic' antagonist - being racism) but guess since its a tough sell as it is, it needs to come back to being more commercially viable. One thing that pisses me off is my continued ability to fuck up 'past, present & future tenses' in my scripts... Don't ask me how, its not something I notice and I'm not one of these annoying fully grown adults who doesn't know the difference between things like; 'They're, there & their' either. In fact I was in a seminar, led by her agent at LSF '14 who had a memorable saying:

"A Writer's Spelling & Grammar Is The Difference Between Knowing Their Shit & Knowing They're Shit!"
- Julian Friedman

... So... Yeah... I need to cure whatever this is and Lucy gave me a few links & so she sent me a few things to remedy not just this problem but a few that should add to the rewrite's strength:

Lucy V Hay (@Bang2Write / www.bang2write.com)
7 Tips On Sci Fi Arenas / World Building In Your Screenplay Or Novel http://bit.ly/W9IYlP
What Does “Hitting The Ground Running” Mean In Screenwriting? | London Screenwriters' Festival 2014 http://bit.ly/1ABEkKb
10 Questions For Your First Ten Pages http://bit.ly/ZVaWwl
10 Ways To Revitalise Your Scene Description http://bit.ly/ZEMvFX
16 Steps to Better Scene Description by William Martell http://bit.ly/P8iCvv
10 Common Errors In Your Writing You Need To Fix Right Now http://bit.ly/1dVPiGv

... naturally there was a couple more things but tell me... Where are we fitting in our reading nowadays guys? & why the fuck wasn't my uni giving me this kind of feedback? £50 with Lucy VS £24,000+ with Bournemouth Uni - explain.

In fact - Bafta seems to be wondering the same thing >

It was nice seeing mates like Murad, Anna, Vicky & a new mate, Nowaz before they all buggered off from Bournemouth. Gave Slavi a copy of my latest feature and Tanya's character's dogtags from our 'Survivor' film as it was also her birthday. Who knows maybe that boss of hers in Hungary will read the new version too and offer me something... Ya never know :)

I'm starting to spend some more time with my mate Nicola... Guess you could call her a film-maker now too. We went to a local networking event last Thursday night called 'IDEAS Bournemouth' but turns out there was more artists than there were people like us but still took away 3 contacts who may come in handy.

Discussing what stuff we can undertake next, whilst trying to help her with her job hunting and stuff. I've added her to the list of people I wish I'd met at the beginning of this whole business. Would've been more fun and productive but just like with the job offers and stuff recently... Better late than never, right?

Those That Refuse To Change - Fail!

Checks pulse - I'm still alive!

Well the 'Survivor' project is finally all finished. What an achievement - the worlds 1st interactive 'Choose Your Own Adventure' film in existence. It's brilliant, although its important to note that not a lot of people wanted to support me or the project. Some I'd done favours for who did sod all in return, over 300 people contacted in some way to help design the interactive feature - Although, 90% of students you ask, if it doesn't involve a grade on a piece of paper, only having to turn up for the odd hour per week in late afternoon and having most of the job done for them already - don't waste your time.



I've submitted the project to a few festivals already -
a good one that accepted it 'Best Shorts Competition' whilst a couple of others already having shot it down  (they never give you the reason). Anyhow, I was more interested in having it return a job to me more than anything. I'm still yet to hear back from 'Ubisoft' & 'Playstation' and a couple of other places but there's already been three companies of interest who've come back to me already.



Machinima -
asked me to become a contributor but have done sod all since when I jumped through all the application hoops - chasing has returned 'zero' results.
Pretty Simple Games - took me through a couple of stages in becoming one of their mission designers for their popular online gaming platform for that game you've probably ignored from that annoying friend on Facebook sending you 'Criminal Case' requests - yep, that's the one. The office is based in Paris, as luxurious as that sounded they didn't leave the salary - I hate it when companies advertise this way, its like walking into one of those restaurants that don't advertise the prices on their menu. Seemed a bit weird they limited me to a 'word count (600 words)' but they demanded 1 detective, 2 suspects, 2 pieces of evidence, a murder weapon, 2 locations, dialogue for all and memorable characters. I honestly delivered the best you could get within the time I had only to receive my rejection 3 weeks later. I would love to meet the person who beat me on that one day - I'd need to see it to believe it.

Volvo - was an unexpected treat that came up from an email I got in touch with regarding them needing someone to basically shoot and edit their future training videos. I had to put a 5 minute video together on 'Volvo Cars & Safety' using pre-shot footage pinched from the internet. Bit bizarre but I did it as part of what I was expected to present at my interview less than a week later - in Daventry, Northampton. Would you believe it - despite my meticulous route planning etc - I got fucking lost and was late by 20 minutes - FURIOUS!

I got there, the lady who had been in contact with me was lovely as well as her two colleagues. Demystified the film-making process for them and even got asked to storyboard a shoot to hypothetically promote a new product - a bike rack. Totally ALL within my element and despite my mysterious fuck-up of arriving late, which I hate enough from others let alone something I committed myself - I think it went bloody well. They seemed very compatible to work with, I'd be doing what I love and can explain clearly. God, I'd love to do this - BUT even 'this' proved unsuccessful, they rejected me the same day I had to walk on to a set to play a comical character I was no longer in the mood for.

And finally, 'Pretty Simple Games' in Paris as a 'Mission Designer' - I kind of hate myself for having gone through the process as I didn't get it but it didn't stop my girlfriend from her addiction to it. It's her new 'Candy Crush.' Seriously, what is it with the many girls who don't / can't play "proper" video games, rather than just this stuff? They exist... I know they do!

Anyway, yeah - My 2nd stage entry level was to write a script limited to a 4,000 word count... (I know, weird right?) having to include 2 locations, 2 suspects, 2 pieces of evidence, 1 detective & all characters with memorable dialogue.

Here's what I came up with:

Honestly, not to blow my own trumpet or anything but not a bad piece of story with all these ridiculous restrictions, right? - not to mention a backlog of experience in gaming and plenty more in film which are quite adaptable but... Fuck it, whatever!


Ghost - a film written, directed, produced and to be edited by one of worlds royal class morons who "thinks" he's a filmmaker. Gawd knows how I was convinced I was in capable hands. I had all my 17 lines memorised and geared up ready to go. The guy was over an hour late turning up to his set with 'NO' good reason. Cast himself in his film as protagonist with morbid acting professionalism - but neither he nor anyone else knew their lines. Was mortified - not only were they shooting without a shot list, they were shooting whilst allowing people to read their lines of the script on the table or their phones - WHAT THE FUCK?
The list goes on and to finish it all I walked off having caught a bad fever from one of the actresses and a chest infection from the other supporting actor. As my mate Ryan said during a catch up a few days later; "At least you walked away with something!" - Gotta love that guy!  :)

This is why I'm not holding my breath on the results: Hope you enjoy it as much as some of the rest of us have... Seriously, get ready for one of the most shocking film experiences of your life... & not in a good way!



Okay... NOW get ready for the follow up 'tribute act' (cheat: go to 2:35 on below video) by two of the most gifted in comedy mates I've got - these guys are superb. If they don't get picked up I'll be very surprised - ENJOY!


Anyway, On the plus side I met a couple of good actors and a costume designer who I liked working with but I'm just tired of this lack of respect for rookie filmmakers NOT getting the right help when they "clearly" need it and disrespecting some of us who give their time and energy for nothing to see it go to waste - Good luck getting us back for the sequel mate!

By the way - Remember the initial Volvo task I was assigned for the interview I mentioned earlier? My girlfriend was working as a 'Marketing Assistant' for the Dorset's 'Superfast Broadband' project, that you probably saw on your TV's in early to mid-2015 whereby someone just planted a shitty camera in her hand and basically said; "Go film someone's experience of their own connection then come back and edit it together." - Guess what, it looked crapp and just alike her employer, had no damn clue!

Naturally, it wasn't her fault - what was she gonna do - Say "no" to the people who paid her wages? Nevertheless, it wasn't long before she sought me out for help whilst I'm trying to do other things, annoyed it being something she couldn't grasp in a couple of hours.
A lot of my industry mates including myself ask that ONE simple question:
Why don't they get someone in to do this professionally?

There's this retarded notion I pointed out in my last blog that illustrates the absurdity of this shit in our beloved film-making arena.
We spend money, time and energy training in this stuff yet tight asses like these guys think its something 'anybody can do' then act all surprised it comes out looking like a bag of shit... All we end up doing is do the 'I told you so' whilst they get angry we know more about our own trade than they do... Stupid - Learn to change your thinking or at least 'engage it' or you're going to fail - simple!

At the strain of a friend of mine, I've got my website at LONG last so the only thing I'll be keeping on this account is of course the blog you're reading now but otherwise, it just makes things look a hell of a lot more organised now - so a shout to the awesome Rebecca Gaines for doing that:

www.danfamproductions.co.uk

Concern to express that I'm almost at the end of my joke of a course with Bournemouth University! What a waste of money. At least I met some nice people but for £24,000 you would think that the bullshit they claim on the initial prospectus would have been delivered upon by now.

Express all the problems and suggestions you have, they don't care. The vice chancellor receives a 6-figure salary, the lecturers receive around £30,000 for doing less than half the work or hours you see those on £15,000 - £18,000 (who having been one of the many of them before... BUST OUR BLOODY ASSES IN FOR YEARS). I'd had enough recently of this practice taking the piss, seeing how this one lecturer manipulates others into doing everything for him, the graduation show, the script clinic, even his own lectures - the worst, lazy, uninspiring teacher, I've ever met - a bloke called Resh! - £100 if you find one student of courses student's who have anything nice to say about him.

I got out of a pitch session with him recently, after he's already made a mockery out of our writing ambitions and gave me 5 minutes to pitch him my latest feature script in 5 minutes. YEP - the 1st to admit as you know I hate pitching but can't say I was inclined to make the effort for a guy who makes none himself. Knock yourself out and give me an average feedback score, mate - Really couldn't give a shite for your opinion anymore (in case you hadn't guessed!)
One of his questions regarding a mate of mine Emma's was "So did you phone up any production companies to get that quote for your budget?"
- yeah, of course she did, you cretin... "No! I'm not kidding" I was there in the room when he said it... Yet a lot of students are still so hung up on what grade he gives them... It's was like asking a monkey to judge at an arts class... Baffling!

The students don't argue of course for sake of feeling threatened of having their latest assignment marked by him. Rather than at school, where your papers are marked by an external examining body, at uni its all in their court for them to mark so you can't look me in the eye and say staying on their sweet side isn't in your interest - Yeah, you know what, 'fuck you, pal' I work 6 times harder than most (ask anyone who knows me!) and speaking of school, it was longer hours, harder work and far more suited to preparing people for the world of work than your propaganda crapp.

Another, lecturer whom I respected a bit more planned a career workshop ('At long fucking last') to give the students an insight into the things they should be considering. My disgustingly helpful nature felt compelled to send him my own LinkedIn page, website, IMDB credits, Stage 32 page, filmography and useful links if they'd assist the planning of the lecture any further + was (stupidly) expecting a bit of feedback for anything I may be missing myself.
What did he do? - ask if I wanted to take half the class talking about them. Sure, you pay me your wages mate, will do. Then again, I don't think that the others would appreciate that none too much nor myself, nor the (false) integrity of the University!
Not interested in getting him sacked though as we're all agreed he's makes a bigger effort with the students. He's even been able to help me with a few things in the past so... Guess thats something.

Readers go Google the following:
'Bournemouth University £2 million grant to study the relationship between humans and chickens' &/OR 'Bournemouth University cost of new Talbot Campus buildings' (One being 2 million, the other twenty million) then ask any of us about the unused flat screen TV's in Weymouth House nobody asked for but being told they didn't have £200 to spare for a grad show to celebrate and support the people who're paying towards their salaries nor even drive them up to where it takes place in London, themselves.

Any wonder why we write fictional stories for how we'd like things to be when we've got shit like this going on under our noses?

Speaking of which, the entire friggin' country had an opportunity to change recently with the elections. There's the opinion of Frankie Boyle: "Just depends on which way you wanna get fucked" which I can't help but support as its true. Neither Conservative or Labour works anymore so why didn't anyone give the Liberal Democrats a chance? A lot of people still stupid enough to vote UKIP who managed to convince the failings of the country are largely to do with immigrants... Yeah, right. Naturally, the ONE party that seems to make any sense is the green party but aren't powerful enough to stand a chance - fuck knows why.
People ALWAYS moan about the way things are in this country, despite how bad it is in other places of the world but most just like to moan about he status quo rather than do anything about it - it drives me mad. AGAIN - refuse to change... You fail!

Did I continue my shit life working in shit sales jobs, moaning about living in one shithole to another, being backstabbed by one shit-muncher to the next?

"No", I said - enough's enough and got myself into education in order to turn my life around and I've achieved so much in 3 years alone that I never had time nor money to do before.

Its wrong what universities are allowed to get away with. Most people would agree that they don't like being fucked in the ass but suppose the lubricant of a possible high 2:1 or a 1st is just an easy way of buying their silence (which STILL means fuck all in the industry anyway) apart from me. Once again, I seem to be the only person who's got a pair to do anything about it.

The only thing we're all stuck in we CAN'T change that must is the indie film-makers being exploited all the time but God knows that there's those of us who will fight against this for the rest of our lives if it kills us - I'm just one of them.


It's still funny seeing some of these graduate kids posting on Facebook on their walls, stuff like: 'No more assignments and essays - Hurray' ...kind of stuff when they're about to learn the 'real' world is actually 5 times harder and they're gonna eat their words. What you gonna do when mummy or daddy can't bail you out and there's no student status to secure your student loans?

I'm sick of the bullshit is all. I don't respect the government anymore than I do the failings of education and the laziness of most students I've met. I've worked my ass off and now all's I want is a job in the field I love working for and a respectable, well-earned salary to prove that change is WORTH fighting for. If nothing else life will finally make sense.