My 1st London Screenwriters Festival Experience

If time wasn’t such a pain to find, I would have been writing this much sooner. I have a massive list I could share but it gives me peace of mind to say that if I’ve not got the time to write here, it means I’m obviously busy writing for another project or even better busy putting it into production…. So there!

I really wanted to talk about my experience last October, where I was in attendance at the London Screenwriters Festival. Someone I know as being one of the pro-active one’s in my circles, David Wylie had previously been and had told me a lot about it (watch out for him guys and give his radio show: A Little Bit Racey, a try).

Yes, I already knew of it but its another one of those big things that siphons the lazy, ‘not as bothered’ writers from the more outright determined ones. Obviously, I class myself in the latter so I dug deep into my pocket and paid for a ticket for the early rate before I thought about rent, food, bills etc and got myself a ticket a long time ago before reality had a chance to stop me. Paying almost £300 for the weekend I got was well worth it.

Chris Jones

First and foremost, lets start with the guy who runs it and is actually responsible for one of the best books in film-making I ever bought.
He is an absolute gem and really fights to give new writers the voice, asking all those questions to the execs and producers we can’t reach ourselves.

He is approachable, full of heart and my newest hero in the arena. My only regret at the end of the festival was not getting in a photo moment with him but I did manage to steal 10 minutes to write him a letter which I delievered to him personally to thank him for one of the best experiences of my writing life… The stuff that I got in three days for that amount of money whilst I’m paying a well over-hyped uni £8,000 a year was insane – That final night explosive unification of writers in the room is something every writer should go to if only just the once… The energy was terrific!

Lee Jessup

Who else…? Well, my next favourite was Lee Jessup. She’s one of many who came over from the states to give some “useful” taps and resources in terms of getting your work in front of the industry; things like how scores work on ‘The Black List’, the constant use of her favourite word; ‘pedigree’ and how you make things stand out; has it been looked at by a recognised script editor (like Lucy V Hay, Euroscript etc), has it won any festivals etc prior.

I had three complete pages worth of notes and resources from her hour session alone & clearly seasoned for my level of writing, compared to most, which I felt were slightly to do with the entry level writer, purely motivational or trying to elusivate on other areas such as radio, theatre, the thinking of an agent etc – ALL excellent stuff but I just went in there looking for new resources and avenues I can explore and Lee Jessup was my answer.

Linda Aronson

I stepped upon a hidden gem that put me at ease after the agency Linda Seifert rejected me when they fed back that they didn’t understand why I had given two characters an equal amount of spotlight. Not only did Linda announce her explanation of the ‘Tandem Narrative’ which pretty much made their opinion look pretty silly and out-dated but there was also another person in the room, Edward Davenport who beat me by announcing similar feedback on one of his own projects, which won me my first acquaintance and business card over the weekend. I also stayed back for their session referred to as a ‘script chat’ where a more focal bit of attention is available for you to get more answers to your questions. This was a amazing I was speaking to yet another author of one of the books on my shelf where yet again, she had said that the duel-protagonist stories are becoming more marketplace but in turn it may have also been a literary agents preference or that it simply wasn’t in their taste.

Examples she mentioned were; Thelma & Louise, Timecode & Sliding Doors and in turn also mentioned that films that have a subtle ploy of attention stealing is that in films like ‘Rain Man’ you are more interested in Dustin Hoffman than your are Tom Cruise, which was a great boost of confidence for me when I have to defend myself against the next close-minded critic. There was plenty more she went onto say with regards to tips about TV series developments, use of flashbacks and plot points before she started going a little too far into the “BUY MY BOOK, BUY MY BOOK” phase but then again what could people expect when  we’re trying to cram a lifetime of knowledge into a couple of hours, which makes my future ownership of it (her book) a big consideration.

Lucy V Hay

One I’d been looking to for quite some time was being able to share a room with Lucy V Hay. Someone who’s actually far younger than I thought and isn’t afraid to be the Gordon Ramsay of the script edit world. She gave us a taste of everything, how scripted movement in descriptions keeps interest and in essence ‘physically’ allows the story to keep moving along with it and a big “FUCK YOU” to writing; the character is waiting in descriptive actions. There was some insightful information to go through in terms of how script format is changing and how many “CUNTS” we’re allowed on scripts (which had the room in stitches) – the word on the script that is but we couldn’t help but be aware of the other pleasurable ironic subtext either.

In addition to be paying attention to the new lengths of the formats you’re writing for:

Indie Features – 80 – 90 pages in the UK / 90 – 110 in the U.S

Spec TV Pilots – 55 – 60 pages in the UK

Spec Sitcoms – 25 – 30 pages in the UK

Short Films – the shorter the better but not really above 10 minutes.

A couple of other things for writers to start thinking about was; ‘Can You See / Imagine The Poster For Your Project?’ and to stop directing actors on paper, which she concluded saying it should be a ‘SCREENplay not a screenPLAY’
for anyone who misses the analogy there it is remembering you’re writing for the screen not the theatre, capiche?

I have to say that, I didn’t understand why she was reporting back to cut down on sluglines, character appearance and only using one word locations… That was a bit disturbing; mine are definitely concise enough but sacrifice any more, surely people start saying shit like; “Yes well… What KIND of house, yes well, WHAT or HOW is he wearing his attire” etc. That’s not what shocked me the most; that was her saying that “Guys… your work is being validated by work experience intern kids out there…” – that pissed me off but then again I should’ve probably guessed.

Julian Friedman

Another useful speaker was Julian Friedman… Yep that name sounds familiar for a good reason… If you can’t put your finger on it, I’ll tell you: It’s the fucking Blake Friedman Literary Agency – yep, there’s nowhere the LSF leaves untouched.

Naturally, looking for representation is a bitch, the waiting to hear back is bitchier, the not knowing why, how, etc no matter how hard you keep trying is a complete joke so getting some understanding here was really helpful. Of some of the things Julian said he mentioned Berlin were more receptive than Cannes when it came to new writers and his advice joined on the back of what Lee Jessup had already said in terms of exercising the pedigree in your script(s).

Naturally there were many others I got to sit in a room with; Pilar Alessandra and the cast + writer of Utopia but the money I’d spent was clearly more valued over the ones I’ve already mentioned for me. I came across a great blogger, whom I’d manage to miss at the festival but made for a far better run-through of the speakers than I’ve done here. For a more holistic view, I encourage a trip to KT Parker’s blog.

My most pressured yet most anticipated moment arrived when it was time for me to pitch my ideas.

First up it was; INERTIA with Liam Garvo (Dresden Pictures)

Secondly it was; REALM with Daniel O Toole (ReelArt Media Ltd)

Thirdly it was; PSYCHICS with (I think) Matt Nelson (Irresistible Films)

Finally, WHAT’S UP WITH SETH? with Ian Jackson (Fastnet Films)

Each time you’re sat down and have five minutes marked on a big monitor countdown display behind you to speed through hours and hours of work in a way that you hope that just even one is fully awake to listen and be patient with to have you get it all out. I know EACH one of my stories like the back of my hand… Can I pitch them? – Jesus, I really can’t tell, whether I felt it went well or not, whether their interest was feigned or not, whether this is one of the core reasons I need a goddamn agent yesterday. However its clear after this though – I FUCKING HATE PITCHING!

After all the years I’ve spent developing my skills in everything but chiefly in writing, I’m now expected to be a fluent pitcher as well? Everyone gets told what the exec is looking for if you choose to get in line for that particular person, a THIRD of which didn’t even show up which I found extremely rude so thank CHRIST I came with four projects instead of just 1 or 2. My most surpirising result came from Daniel O Toole as if he just wanted to find the earliest hole and insist there was no way I’d manage to this project in 90 pages. Despite every deflection, I was assuring him every step with a “strong” first draft and summary sheet which depicts how the entire thing is already broken down, has been done. Handed it all over but I reckon if he’d been more honest and said it wasn’t for them, shit would be simpler on both sides.

Surprisingly my best pitch was my first, I’d say, Inertia is my oldest feature script and I understand it so well and the budget being so low and such a simple yet gripping ethical concept definitely had this guy’s attention. Yet again, I’d handed over all he needed and nothing back here either.

The experience did wonders for my nerves and preparation for next time but am I in a rush to go through it again…? Yeah, not really. In any case I’ve been working on my pitch techniques ever since but Christ… I’ve just turned 30… I’m getting a little sick of learning and developing skills now… I should be able to deploy and start using them. I swear the next person who says: "Well, you can't START like this Dan"
* remove this word from your philosophical lecture before I whack you one!

I’m a little pissed off that it was only me and a friend of mine from Bournemouth University that had to pay for ours whilst everyone else I knew from our uni circles got them for fucking free – Grrrr!

Anyway, all in all… What a fantastic experience meeting new people and a thing to be part of. It’s the closest to a ‘Writing Family’ I’ve ever discovered, its like belonging to a tribe or something and Chris Jones… Thank you so much for it!

Useful Resources From Talks (also on Useful Links)

The Black List

Austin Film Festival

Page Awards

Script Pipeline

Big Break

SpecScout

Euroscript

Screencraft

Story Expo

Happy Writers (Stage 32)

Ink Tip

Great American Pitchfest (June)

Hollywood Pitchfest (August)

Screenwriters World (August)

Brooklyn Weaver – Top For Commissioning

Honest NOT Angry - "The Best Answer U Can Get Is A Look In The Mirror, That Tells U All Need To Know As It's The Only Person U Can't Fool"

It’s funny how certain people stand out for having a pair to speak tough love and honesty. Obviously you put it into context but since half of many jokes and issues are linked to celebrities, here’s a few to start you off. Take two I actually respect; Alan Sugar and Gordon Ramsay.

They’re not like those sell outs that smile through their teeth at you then bitch about you behind your back, you spend a long time learning to be good at the trade they are renowned for then once you start performing at a good level, a compliment from them makes it all the more meaningful.

Whilst last year I had already taken on several responsibilities, the latest things involve me having been scouted by two MA filmmaker groups at Bournemouth University, a recruitment agent from Microsoft and a sort of ‘mentor’ for two new scriptwriters and overseeing another four who are at least two years in. Why?

Good question and in fact returning to education for a degree that will mean sod all in my industry and doing more teaching than studying actually makes me feel cheated. Not only did I end up working for a cheapskate for a month, earlier this year whilst he reaped the benefits of my production skills, I’ve spent years and thousands of pounds for absolutely no expense on his behalf. But other than my immediate friends, whom I like to help out, there are others who hear about me, I’m now expected to be drawn in to work for them for free… What, just because you want a good mark for your course and / or I may have a chance to extend my showreel etc… If you’re in a position to pay me, you better have a damn good reason why you don’t as well as those who can’t pay me diddly squat, if I agree to write for you, then don’t turn it into a car crash please.

"EXAMPLE?" - I hear you say, sure, here you go!

How To Make A Film from one of my scripts:

 

 How NOT To Make A Film from one of my scripts:

 

DEFINTELY How NOT To Make A Film from one of my scripts as you clearly don’t give a shit:

 

Funnily, the one at the top, Murad Ali, has been the only one who I keep in contact with both professionally and personally, who when stuck for ideas after working himself stupid on some other edit projects told me he had seen his lecturer who invited him to watch his favourite short film; DESSERTS (please watch!)

Murad has had many a meeting with me and would not hesitate to tell you my favourite question; WHY? – which in this case gave way to the following

Character – Who is he? What pulled him in? Why?

Location – Why a beach? Why the title, instead of ‘Human Fishing’ or something?

Objective – What was the message of the filmmaker? Were they an animal activist? Is it a protest of some kind, in which case where was the empathetic side of the story? WHY? WHY? WHY?

He said; “Mate, I became YOU” as he’d asked a couple of the above questions to his tutor, whom replied; “Well, have you ever thought about what its like to be a fish?”

SERIOUSLY? In one of my earliest blog’s I speak on Art House and the bullshit they think is so amazing and why do they need to exist… If these people are indeed the kind of audience they attract, then why are there so many offices in the immediate proximity that bother teaching their students about constructing narrative? “ARGH, ART HOUSE… FUCK OFF… HANDCUFF YOURSELF TO THE CONFINES OF THE TATE MODERN OR SOMETHING AND LET THESE GUYS WANK OVER YOU THERE… “

You want to see something ‘really’ amazing, take a look at one of my favourite Youtubers. I mentioned the ‘Angry Joe Show’ before but here’s another I’m subscribed to called; ‘The Phillip DeFranco Show’
(Here's a story for those saddo's who don't shut up about their phones, namely that shit over the damn iPhone thing)

This guy delivers you spoonfuls of news within 10 mins or less, with an actual personality (unafraid to swear when something’s “fucking obvious”), voicing everyone’s inner monologue, he promotes at least one new artist and one ‘feel good’ story each time. Admits he doesn’t like TV NEWS so makes his own, backs it up with facts and doesn’t bullshit or speak in the same monotonous tone of voice, whilst wearing a suit and tie, afraid of accidentally upsetting a broadcast network like the BBC who promote this middle-class image to the world when every single foreign mate I’ve ever had would probably agree with me (believe me, there’s enough) that say, “Hmph, you guys aren’t actually like that at all” – which in many ways is a good thing.

One final thought was an excellent, albeit sarcastic at times, review of a student film recently, which most would agree wasn't badly shot mostly but the story was poor. In my opinion mostly due to the excessive dialogue and an actor’s face like a smacked arse for 18 minutes feeling sorry for himself. Any decent writer who’s studied other writers work before like Robert McKee will tell you; “Self-pity does not evoke empathy.” The review itself came from a scriptwriter who I worked with before. Unsure of the compulsion but nevertheless extra time he put in, would have made for good editorial showreel material perhaps as he went through great detail to explain what was shit, what was good and what he would have done differently but given the filmmaker in question, accrediting himself for parts in films he doesn’t understand, in this case writing (usually choosing to explain everything through dialogue than action), is a lot of strain on the actor and somewhat lazy, at least take on a script editor, so you can learn as you go so yeah… Maybe in the future you won’t need one.

The wider picture of this is a scriptwriter gave a great constructively criticised account until another came along and told him (to what I have been told didn’t even read the entire article) that he was “bullying.” No, mate, bullying would be to call him a c**t or punch him etc. What actually took place here is another example of someone who avoids conflict like the plague, unafraid of undermining their friend’s confidence and alike MOST people I’ve met down here, will never be able to write proper conflict because they never go through any themselves. A half-adult on either side would make the filmmaker all the wiser and grateful and the other to have said something similar to what I have said here.

“Oh but Dan, you’re just the same as us”

*sigh*

“No, I’m usually 8 – 9 years older than most of you, I started over 7 years ago, compared to your 2 possibly 3, I completed an intensive filmmaking course at Ealing Studios, I’ve made several films, had 3 screenings, got to an international nomination shortlist, as well as invited to an official pitch for a feature I wrote and not only starting to attract the attention of literary agents (touch wood there, something materialises soon) but I’m also working 5 – 7 days a week, job hunting, writing and collaborating on other projects and forked out to pay to go to the London Screenwriter’s Festival in October… So, NO… I am not the same as you”

It gets really heated if I have to play the childhood card; some of these academic geniouses turn out to be nothing but lazy, spoilt bastards half the time but will still insist on sitting on their invisible pillar of bullshit.

All I’m saying is people who can’t take criticism… Or as you call it… ‘Bullying” (especially if you’re a writer)… ‘GIVE UP NOW… YOU’RE FUCKED” or stay the hell out of the way.

Stability & Success - 'Only Doubt Me If You Want Something To Be Sorry About'

News good and bad really… Where to begin? Lets get the bad stuff out of the way. As with all unrecognised (… as of yet) filmmakers, I struggle with the one thing that many of us do – Money!

However, its not as if the job for a writer is advertised as well as adverts for a plumber, electrician, secretary, accountant, or my personal favourite; I.T technician. I have stressed many a time to the younger writers; “Embrace other trades within production – Don’t be JUST a writer” by this I mean, try and learn what you can about producing, directing, cinematography, editing even acting. You know, just try and tick more boxes – MAKE yourself more employable. Add more strings to your bow and add to your IMDB credits and showreel after all, people watch more than they read, employers are just the same.

Do you know what really pisses me off? How we’re always expected to work for free with promises of “maybe” being paid if the film is a success further down the line. Fellow filmmakers, it’s a mutual pain we have probably all experienced. It makes you wonder though, would any of the trades and jobs I named above work for free… Why not? You don’t need a reputation to be a sales clerk, team manager as you’re sure to get paid, even minimum wage – Makes you wonder and just hope that this all changes pretty soon.

... Plus, we're the few expected to pay to get job alerts and our festival submissions, I mean, come on!

I wanted to share my latest experience. As part of an undergraduate course, I finally got to understand exploitation at its worst. Whilst some courses only require students to work four weeks others require them to take an entire year. Let me get this straight – this is a GOOD idea “BUT” lets get another thing straight “WORKING FOR FREE” when you’ve got rent to pay ISN’T!

In Bournemouth, the opportunities, even working for free in film are highly constricted but I worked for ‘FONIX’ for a month, told that I was going to be helping out with shoots for some great events like the ‘Bournemouth Air Festival’, ‘Bristol International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta’ & ‘Notting Hill Carnival’ but working for free. The business sells massive screens like the ones you see plastered around X Factor and stuff but the other part of the business seems to take pleasure in exploiting the shit out of students to make trips to London and back, spend their hours locking down ALL the research behind each and every event, doing VoxPops (the silly-named expression to interviewing random people on the street, regarding a subject matter), orchestrating shoots from the ground up, all the way from contacting the client yourself through to the edit. In addition any client that pays for Fonix’s services, lets say £3,500 for a promotional video is also totally down to you to orchestrate, respond to emails and texts into the night, the client putting all the pressure on you (technically the sub-contracted intern) as your employer hardly ever turns up and is renowned by most as annoying and talks till you're blue in the face as well as ‘always expecting rather than asking.’

To nail it down, you’re given some decent equipment to play with and shoot stuff for your showreel and work with some other awesome students who know their stuff BUT you’re expected to take control of clients (paid and unpaid), make trips and cover several shoots…  Just working entirely for free unless you covered a couple of days away, vision mixing for the cricket.

I covered the awkward month I was expected to and then after another email from him having expressed “I’m disappointed” despite the fact at that point he hadn’t even respected all the time he’d gotten out of me for free nor the work and effort I put in, when I’ve got other things to do, I basically told him to go shove it. Especially, as its interns who end up saving this guys ass every year covering these essential events and projects. He needed them far more than these guys needed the placement, they could've done elsewhere.

I think that most students, being aged 18 – 22 still haven’t developed the awareness to know when they’re being exploited and usually tuck their tail between their legs and the other employees in the office, I made good friends with (THEY were really nice, which is what makes it such a shame), were telling me this is exactly what the guy did and the less they were involved with him the better. Anyway, it doesn’t matter what age you are, I’ve never worked for free, since I was 13 years old unless its on my own or other peoples film projects and there is ALWAYS respect – and manners cost nothing.

Onto the good stuff - Straight after I walked out of that joke of a job, I received an email for ‘The Short Film Cinema’ in Leicester, saying that I had made the shortlist to be screened the following month and recently, I have just been given another at ‘5 Lamps Films’ in Derby, which was great… Marking the latest success in the same place I was born.

I have also decided to embark on a few more projects (big surprise) to take some interesting stuff with me to the London Screenwriters Festival this year.

Fuck me, the technical constraints I had on getting my pilot webisode for my web series was a nightmare, in editing you’ve got two royal sods known as ‘rendering’ and ‘exporting’ that take hours to tell you if you’ve got a film of the right size with no glitches that can be uploaded to your desired internet platforms… I was going out of my mind and after months and several repeated apologies that really fucked with my reputation, I finally got it up and running and it came out pretty well.

There were two MA groups of filmmaking postgraduates that sought me out to write their scripts as well (not bad, seeing as they’re technically supposed to be two years ahead of me), which should be online for all to see in a couple of months.

New TV Series Project - Psychics

Yes, money has really been torturous but with the latest power of TV, there’s been a few things that has caught my eye and got me thinking in time for me to develop some of my own work, involving a new TV series focussed project depicting on our psychic abilities, being oversaw by an international psychic expert, Heidi Sawyer – turns out I’m chiefly a ‘Clairvoyant’ that explains my occasional ability to see how people need to be spoken to, see a goal and seem to have a strong vision of what goes where to get there and my freakish occasional occurrences of being able to see as well as hear stuff before it happens was well explained. More to come on that one.

INSPIRATIONAL COMPARISONS

New Feature Film Project - REALM

Imagine a world where we’re taken in as refugees, after a desperate voyage into outer space, being the last hope for humanities existence by a new civilisation after the death of Earth. New powers dictated by our birthstones are possible here, battles joining ancient and futuristic weaponry together in a completely new landscape and re-imagined societal structure. My protagonist ahs had his past kept secret from him, whilst living in guilt over the death of his mother around a decade ago and when the ball drops… Oh, boy! By far the most ambitious and high-budgeted project I’ve ever attempted but really like the characters and world I’ve got nailed down so far.

New Media Approach - The Augmented Non-Linear Narrative Film Project


Make Sure You Contribute Your Results: Click Here

This tough bastard, I wanted to explore after absolutely refusing to write another bullshit essay for university. I am shit at academic writing or at best… Borderline! When you’re approaching 30 years old, you don’t want to be ‘average’ at stuff anymore, its not enough… Not for me anyway, so what the hell is this thing?

Okay, well, I used to love those adventure books when I was a kid and I also love video games with a choice you could make that would affect my next objective and alter the end of the story. Imagine watching a brand new film when at certain points it would freeze frame and you would be confronted with a choice of what you did/used/said next? Not only does this engross the viewer within the narrative in a new way, never done before but to be honest, isn’t this where media is headed anyway… Media seeks to deliver more and more choice and power to the viewer, so… Well, yeah, its early stages but the end result should be interesting.

Real Legends - The Brave, The Badass & The Bad Guys – 'Who We Are Is Merely A Stepping Stone To What We Can Become'

As I sit here on another video editing nightmare, as I try and determine this time whether it’s a problem with ‘Final Cut Pro’ or ‘Premier Pro’ that isn’t playing ball as I work on my latest project (editors community topic, you may not get that comment) I thought I’d cease the opportunity for another blog.

Think it came upon me to mention that even given that several years have gone past, my DVD collection really hasn’t expanded much, although my video games have. Since I engage with both industry’s like you (I’d hope!) on almost a daily basis, I had an epiphany of why that may be.

My stories are usually character-led as opposed to being plot-led. I think the secret to a good story is a good character journey. Simple when you think about it; “every” story “MUST” make you understand a character so that the audience can anticipate their next move but to get them “like” a character… Well you do that & you’re singing!

Solid Snake

Why Do I Like Them:

 

Most know my favourite character as being Solid Snake from the Metal Gear Solid Franchise (although I do wish they’d stuck with David Hayter as the voice actor rather than Hideo Kojima getting too far up his own arse and casting Keifer Sutherland in)He’s a cloned soldier, born for combat. Disciplined, philosophical, wise and as tough as nails with a complicated set of ethics.  Untrusting of others and a no nonsense attitude. Rather than a character who needs to be nursemaided so far before they start kicking into action, Snake has been one of the most unforgettable characters as well as a great role model for those of us who have struggled with a bit of an erratic childhood and having lived so many places, shat on by those closest to us – yet he keeps on going. Not to mention, still at the centre of some of the greatest storylines I’ve ever experienced.

Rocky Balboa

Why Do I Like Them:

Rocky has a refined sense of manners and an all likeable bunch of traits and reminds me of when I worked some pretty shitty jobs myself to keep some of the shithole places I also lived in and after all the trying and failing, unable to shut out his killer instinct to ‘fight’, I’ve tried many things but my ability was to ‘write’ and let me tell you, to be successful… THAT IS… a fight. Against impossible odds but a heart of gold and determined to be ‘not just another bum from the neighbourhood’ – I knew “exactly” what he meant… I know way too many of those people and nothing depresses me more than the thought of becoming one myself. “Every” time I put on a Rocky film, my spirit goes back up and I find myself cheering him on, watching the TV screen. Sylvester Stallone is a great writer and film-maker and people will remember him for many years to come.

Dante

Why I Like Them:

Upon the release of the Playstation 2, I already knew that the guys who’d made the ‘Resident Evil’ stuff was cooking this one up. A Rock ‘n’ Roll devil hunter, half devil, half cocky as hell human. Choice of wielding a sword and dual pistols simultaneously was cool enough as usually its having to choose between the two before as determined by genre. There’s not much of a character arc, its more plot driven than character driven in the first installment but its when you hit the later versions of Dante’s legacy you get into the depths of his character. You’re playing as someone who is shouting out “Woohoo!” as he’s killing demonic creatures & entities sure as hell as that’s what you’re doing on the other side of the screen – It’s gung-ho but cleverly done, great costume, great look, great attitude, great weapons, interesting bad guys and the gameplay goes like water off a ducks back, never really stopping as you start finding your inner demon awakening in glee from the various goth music soundtrack. The fight cutscenes are also highly inventive, one of the many reasons, why video game fights etc are just so much more interesting now than what you’d expect t see on TV or at the cinema.

Altair

Why I Like Them:

One of the first ‘true’ open world games I ever played. Learning some fun historical stuff about my world whilst I wield stealth in new ways and can engage several targets at once in an all-out assault battle. That was great but what really tipped the scale to awesome levels in my opinion was its character; Altair. A top-notch assassin who disgraces himself and the order of his creed by assassinating an innocent, getting disobedient and impatient results in him getting demoted and having to work his way back up the ladder all over again to regain his honour and status. Perfect for the narrative to work as well as being allowed to steadily learn and hone the skills respectively as a player. Later finding out he’s actually been deceived by his own master, whilst protecting a mythical, heavenly artifact. I could kiss the bugger who wrote this out. Great stuff!

 

Darth Vadar

Why Do I Like Them:

Darth Vadar doesn’t send out other minions to get something if he can go do it himself, obsessed with galactic domination and the crushing of his own son – blood terrifying. His presence, his breathing, his costume, his voice, that f*****g awesome red lightsaber and the sound it makes when he uses it. “Everything” key to making one of the most perfect bad guys of all time; you’ve got it right here. One of the earliest characters you’ll see who ends up finally make the ultimate sacrifice for good at one of his last scenes in ‘Return Of The Jedi’ – absolutely sublime (before the prequels came in & really made us want to cry) How awesome are those lightsaber fights between him & Luke? – there’s some pretty good copycats on ‘Youtube’ who’ve made their own over the years – This bad guy is almost unbeatable.

Terminator (T-800)

 

Why do I like them:

Shit a brick, they said it wasn’t going to be possible back in the day but fuck me there wasn’t one person who was overjoyed about James Cameron proving them wrong. The scariest bad ass machine with red eyes and that evil grin embodied by Arnold Schwarzenegger, sent from a post-apocalyptic era of war of man VS machine, sent back to kill the mother of the leader of its enemy in the future, killing countless innocents and any militia in its way. Not to mention its return on the screen in one of the most successful sequels ever when it’s sent back to protect her and her son from ‘another’ terminator. Fucking incredible and made my birth year (1984) all the more meaningful for me to look back on.

Alien

Why I like them:

Proud of all the nightmares I endured after watching this terrifying f****r rip people to shreds in various resourceful fashions, I can’t think of any film that made me s**t myself as much as this. From the second it shows itself – it makes you jump, when it is born from its parasite, after having being stuck on John Hurt’s face for a few hours; IT EXPLODES OUT OF HIS FUCKING CHEST!!! “This” is how horror is supposed to be done and in my opinion – still is… You fill it with black, suspense, noises of dread, claustrophobic spaces then when you finally see the bugger, you give it biggest, ugliest, merciless appearance and presence EVER!!!  I am “extremely” hard to please in horror films but this will always come out as my favourite (only inches ahead of its sequel) just like Terminator, James Cameron delivers a blinder of a 2^nd instalment. More importantly, there’s no silly puzzles, riddles, rules etc to work out to win against this tough muthaf***a. It’s simple: no bullets, no weapon, then run, you friggin’ idiot!

Predator

Why I Like Them:

The genious of this ultra terrifying monster was the fact that it was an intergalactic hunter, seeking challenge and trophies but refused to kill anyone that provided neither. In addition it could turn invisible and had advanced weaponry we had never seen before. The real clever part was making sure they cast and made Arnold Schwarzenegger look like a pussy next to this thing to really get that point across. They made the daylight seem just as terrifying as the night, with this creature & as a little cherry on the cake, it competed against being killed by an Alien (above) being much worse as you’d be skinned alive. Unfortunately, the sequels that followed were nowhere near as good but the legacy alike the ones above was well deserved.

 

Nemesis

Why I Like Them:

The ‘Resident Evil’ franchise had already become a big thing for me when someone decided it’d be great to invent the ‘survival horror’ genre and watch our players soil themselves. Two great games had already come and gone. Along came ‘Resident Evil 3 – Nemesis’ and was the first video game bad guy, I was really scared of – about time! It was a bulky 8 foot monster, on occasion armed with a rocket launcher and a god awful roar that if you couldn’t see it, you knew it was stalking you nearby. There was a score written to play in these instances then another written for when it would drop down from a roof, smash through a window or whatever and make you scream: “SSSSSSHHHHIIIIIIIIT!” You’d look for the nearest door and leg it… Even with the best weapons in the game, this bastard was damn near impossible to put down. Absolutely amazing! Unfortunately, when that dork, Paul W.S Anderson completely fucked it all up with the film adaptations, the translation of the Nemesis’s appearance was the only thing that held up.

Sephiroth

Why I Like Them:

Final Fantasy 7 was one of the most addictive Role Playing Games video gamers had ever encountered back then. You know why, not only was there a blinder of a story that asked us to hypothesize “What if when we die, we return to the livestream of our mother Earth, someone found a way to selfishly harness this as an energy that was capable of bringing about the end of days for us all?” In addition they threw a cloned soldier (alike Solid Snake above I suppose) who actually found out he was part of an alien breed sent to use this process to kill us all. Enter a black cloaked, expert swordsman and warrior, with long grey hair, evil eyes and the biggest sword you’ve ever seen as well as his accompanying music every step of the way; his name was Sephiroth. He was cold, had infinite wisdom and went from good guy to bad guy steadily the more truth he learned about his own existence. Totally brilliant and althought the animated film wasn’t as good as it could’ve been (Final Fantasy: Advent Children) – the translation of Sephiroth was beautifully delivered.

Films & Games - When A Story Becomes A Brand! - 'Choose To Believe Anything, You End Up Standing For Nothing'

It's always nice to hear about someone doing well in the industry, whether it's a friend of mine or not. Not only does it help me to an extent but more chiefly, it gives you that extra mile of encouragement, belief and strength for others... Provided it's not one of those people who managed to get where they are of the back off someone else from the word 'Go!'

Tell you what though, doesn't it piss you off when people are completely incapable of 'moving the fuck, ON' being that you REALLY have to work to find something that isn't an adaptation or remake. I have made my feelings on this matter clear in an earlier blog but now it's happening in the other industry I love... Gaming!

I grew up with games, from their simplistic design in the 80's to where it is now... More and more story has become such a fundamental expectation in order to entertain its vastly growing community, in fact I don't like using the word community anymore, I'd say it's probably on par with the attention television fetches... And too bloody right, it's earned it's place.

Older generations, not ALL, but most don't touch games and in fact are only too quick to turn their noses up at it, the same kind (like my mum, funnily enough) that say they're senseless and mindless and a big waste of time... "Rrrrrriiight, but watching shitty daytime TV is better?"

Gaming gives so many of us the escapism we love, we have our favourite interactive stories where we control what happens on screen, we can enjoy stories that were too expensive for TV / Film production and in addition, explore new worlds & lands in our 'own' way that a documentary can't fulfil, we are also forced to learn to make quicker decisions and new ways of problem solving. As bonus, I have learned so many things from games like:

'Assassin's Creed' - about historical figures and locations


'Splinter Cell' - political and international systems
'Devil May Cry' - religious cultured artwork and references
'Metal Gear Solid' - facts from non-fictional warfare & governments from as early as 1945

All this is a benefit, of course - mainly though... They're fun!

Anyway, coming back to my point, gaming has become such a money-making machine now & just like a production company, by all means make a strong trilogy if your fans are that way inclined (make DAMN sure you get it right) but for the love of CHRIST - make your mark and then move on!

This is when the ball drops for me that a game has become a brand & story that just gets weaker and lazier all in the name of making-money!

I mentioned Microsoft's 'Lionshead Studios' recently, after I'd been through hell to take an interview with the creators of 'Fable' and there was only one question in my head almost the entire way. 'WOW, these guys have literally done NOTHING else for ten years!'


They have a brilliant game to their name but unfortunately, I think at the end of the day, they're just another one trick pony!
If you consider developers such as 'Rockstar Games' - notoriously famous for 'Grand Theft Auto' - just when they're on the periphery of the same opinion, they released 'Red Dead Redemption', believing in themselves and taking the success they've made from their work, they threw their efforts into an open world exploration into the Wild West arena. THAT'S what I'm talking about... and it's f*****g awesome fun!

Ubisoft has done the same thing, in fact more so with Farcry, (Splinter Cell, Assassin's Creed, two of which I also mentioned earlier), Prince Of Persia etc.
This is NOT "Oh, well that's because they've got more money" - NO, it's because they 'know' how gamers want to be pleased, they respond to the responses of their fans, therefore, making them more money as the gamer has more control - the people who are giving the gamers control are winning, those, which are not and too protective and not "listening" are losing - simple.
This is EXACTLY the same problem in TV right now, which hopefully is starting to fade away.
Kevin Spacey made an effort to urge broadcasters to give control to their viewers on this matter not too long ago, please watch, it's great:


It's the same as the bastards, working in the banks sometimes though, right? So long as they can get away with it, they'll do it... Sure the ship may be sinking but they'll cling onto the rails to make enough and jumping off just in time to save their own skin.

Gaming isn't safe because of a new arising problem though, which I think is quickly going to get worse because of certain greedy-money-grabbing-morons that are now cropping up here over something called 'DLC' - Downloadable Content!

For the last couple of years this has started to get a bit out of hand... Greedy, lazy & silly! A gamer will buy a game; good or bad with parts of the game locked away and can only be unlocked at a financial cost. By all means charge people for a full game but I hardheartedly disagree with where this is going.

In fact the biggest joke just occurred with my most beloved franchise, which goes just beyond this dreaded culture: 'Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes'
Unfortunately, Konami is one of those aforementioned One-Trick pony companies but given that I am such a big fan of the story and the character being such an inspiration in my life, I have been willing to forgive it UNTIL NOW!
Fan's have literally been fucked in the ass, uncertain why they were paying half the usual retail price for the latest installment, for which they didn't know was just going to be an epilogue hour playable demo for the next installment, which is yet to be released... WHY THE FUCK, DO THIS?
a) Why not just release it with the actual game later on, we'll be patient.
b) You've already changed the main voice actor from David Hayter to Keifer Sutherland without good enough reason(s).
c) For something I can complete in an hour by today's standard is ludicrous & unacceptable.
d) Hideo Kojima - Putting yourself in your own game franchise twice is fucking pretentious and stupid.
e) Why fuck your fans over and make them hate you after all the support and money they've made you?

The face of gaming is flourishing but any one of us, NOT looking to get shafted, here's my advice:

Visit the Angry Joe Show

He is the answer to a gaming consumer's prayers, whilst IGN and Gamespot are a hell of a lot less biased than they used to be, they still talk in that same monotonous voice of a reporter, they're way too abbreviated for you to base a cash decision on!

I have watched this show, not just out of enjoyment but I'd work with this guy for free any day of the week, given his level of understanding and respect for the gaming community. Not only does he bring passion but he brings the honesty, pointing out the exact details on what you're expecting as a gamer and does it meet this criteria?

To this day, I'm always of a similar opinion and I base my game purchase decisions off this guy alone. If only I'd found his video on the aforementioned 'MGS: Ground Zeroes' earlier, he'd have saved me £20.



Funnily enough, Angry Joe touches on another thing here, which pisses me off in the same way it does him. 'Movie Franchised Games.'
Nearly every last one destined to disappoint and be a wonder as to why do people bother making this shit but yep, you guessed it... "It's not about the game, it's about making money, predominantly from its fans"
- Movie based or not, it doesn't matter, if your game sucks balls, people will call you on it. Make some money but at the cost of being "branded" yourself - an asshole!

I implore you to notice the views that 'Angry Joe Show' gets in one of his Youtube videos, then compare it with the mainstream corporate 'IGN' or 'Gamespot' focus - YAH, I rest my case!

TV, Films, Games... Everything! 
When I write my stories, there's always the odd element thrown in about the world crying out for more honesty and the hope that one day the bullshit gets left behind.
Here's to hoping!