Until recent years any ‘free time’ (what’s that) I’d have
would be used to write in my journal but in 2015, being 30 - an out of work writer / filmmaker like myself uses that time to sort out ‘that exact’ problem.
Moments like these also allow me to reflect on what it is that got me
here and what feels like the pain I had in a previous life, I’ve taken into
this one. Only the other day, the new ‘Metal Gear Solid 5’ came out and the
sub-title of this instalment refers to such a connection – Phantom Pain. Pain
that makes you remember what its taken to get somewhere, what it cost you and
the driving force that you use to get to where you’re aiming for.
After a trip back to see some mates in Surrey (trust me, the place makes me sound posh… But you’re "way off”) seeing their faces help me
familiarise myself with great company – people who earn their living and
understand struggle. Some of them I even used to work beside. Unlike the MOST part of the uni flock I witnessed as a mature student, who
technically had no frigging idea what a 9am start meant, paying rent (no…
student loans don’t count, pal). The mates I’m talking about, I didn’t want to
spoil a reunion with this but it left me wondering if I could go back to my previous life, earning money like before? – No!
I respect people working pain in the ass jobs to make their own money but chances are I would end up killing myself if I had to go back to sales and customer service jobs for
bullshit pay all over again… The friends and drama, I shall take away from that life and empower my stories in ways many wouldn't be able to but to go back to the life itself is something I can never do again after all the sacrifices and effort it took
to get me here.
So now the next obvious question is – “Okay Dan – Where are
you?” The proud answer is, making my own footprints, having achieved yet
‘another’ film festival selection (Los Angeles Cinefest) not to mention having
heavy involvement in another, where the film took ‘Best Actress’ (Rahway
International Film Festival), all the screenings and nominations before that,
the reputation I have, the connections I’ve made and the interesting jobs I
have been interviewed for.
In fact, that’s what’s going on right now. Recently
I was considered for some executive assistant role to a media production
company, worth £40,000+… I don’t give a shit for politicians, lawyers or
bankers… I’ve never been a greedy man and I hate how everything revolves around
money but put it this way… If I got it, I’d consider myself a millionaire.
The role was supposed to be someone with a high aptitude for
script related work and an ambitious look towards the TV production arena.
Although, you know that feeling you get when something’s too good to be true? Well this experience took the gold!
This was a recruitment agency, not telling me who
their client was & didn’t know what script reports were, nor did they want
to see any of of my previous work… Hmmm… However,
they did show a lot of interest in my
previous bullshit admin and sales from my early – mid 20’s… Why? For God sake,
if I can do production management and have worked both as part of and leading a
team, what the hell do you want to know about that pointless part of my life?
Your answer will be as follows;
a) This work isn’t media / script related to the
position
b) You’ve done years of this (shitty) work but we
wanted more
c) Thanks for wasting more of your time but we
decided to go another direction
Or my personal favourite bullshit response of the lot –
d) You’ve not got enough experience
Whether its working as part of a production company or
marketing agency – this is absolute BOLLOCKS!
You find me one person who’s gone through what I have and
done what I have for what I apply for.
Coming all the way to London when you’re unemployed, having
to use my entire day for a 30 minute conversation, where you’d lost the paper
work you’d asked me to fill out, sent me a link to perform MS Office tests on,
which were irrelevant to my profession + didn’t even work and clearly you
hadn’t even researched me thoroughly before wasting my time, telling me to come
down there for something that could have been conducted through Skype like when
I have to audition someone because I’m not a jerk. How can I morally tell someone to come all the
way over to me for something I cannot reimburse nor too much of their time if
they’re not local… All the more so, if they didn't even get the part?
Bottom line mate, call my references if you don’t believe me
and understand something; If I can do scripts, producing, directing, camera,
editing, teach and build several projects from scratch then it’s a pretty safe
bet I can do a fucking admin job, is it not? – By the way, good luck finding an
admin assistant who will understand and respect scripts in the way your client
probably intends.
In any event, there’s another job worth mentioning (via a job recruitment agency who was far more professional) – I have been considered for a video editor position for Team 17. Hopefully they’re able to step up to the salary I’m after especially after having to migrate my
life – AGAIN! But considering its Mickey Torode I'd be working for (known for his work Ubisoft, THQ & Capcom) WHOA - Just tell me where to sign!!! It'd also be based in Nottingham - Is it just me or is this another sign that people are more receptive in the midlands? (hint, hint*)I made 'SURVIVOR' to make me more accessible to the games industry and considering my previous interests from game development companies and its about time I was taken more seriously!
Holistically, I seem to dealing with a lot of companies who
are repeatedly saying; “We want you to have previous experience and have worked
somewhere first because we can’t be bothered to offer you something ourselves.”
My little brother came to see me recently. It’s been good to
catch up and wind down and thank CHRIST he’s not going into film… I’d have to
beat him senseless. Would like to think I can at least protect him from the
swarm of bullshit that is doing its best to take away whatever life I’ve got
left.
Now to completely (kinda) contradict myself… I’m doing my
next film next month, with a little bit of a horror element attached to it. It's ironic how much a film production can take out of you but give it time, you can't wait until the next one. If anything else its something to keep you motivated. Besides, film Festivals love horror and female protagonists right now, so in we go again
but fuck me sideways, just saying... A career at this point, would be nice! If not... Well at least I'll die doing what I love :)
