The worst part of this is that I really
don’t want to have to spell it out for people but apparently some people are
just too thick to display any manners.- Yes manners have a lot to do with this, I'll explain, be patient!
I have lost count of the amount of times I
have seen people screw my projects up on the account of the following pathetic
excuses:
1)
No communication
2)
Not turning up on time
3)
Detrimentally low
self-commitment
A long time ago I wanted to stick to being a screenwriter. Soon learning one skill alone, especially without an agent, meant
jack-shit, I soon strived to become a director, an editor, a producer, then a cinematographer.
Surely that was enough? Nope, in order to save my latest projects ass, I have now had to become an actor as well, any guesses why...?
Lazy students, claiming they're not lazy is one
thing but filmmakers and actors pissing a production up the wall that other
people have spent preparing is quite another. There is STRONG evidence of
it happening on both sides – One I was victim to myself (that one's coming up later, stay tuned!) but usually this is
down to disorganised morons who usually respond to a cast call, get an audition
slot, don’t turn up, or do then get the part and THEN don’t turn up or even
bother making a phone call and doesn’t give the slightest bit of consideration
for other cast or crew members.
- The 'DanFam Productions' Ethos -
"EVERY production I’ve ever produced, the call sheets, risk assessments, terms of payment are made clear followed
by a copy of the 1st rough cut of the production followed by the
final product delivered to everyone’s address and ALWAYS treated with respect."
-
Why the F**K is this so much to
ask?
Do you want people to take you seriously?
Do you want someone to hold your hand at all times? Do you expect to be paid
from the off? Do you think you can get away without being signed up to a
casting site without decent credits and / or showreel? … Speaking of which, can
those who are usually nannies or shelf stackers who apply for acting roles with
no other experience… Cut it out and stop wasting your time. No self-respecting
filmmaker is going to cast you for anything other than an extras role. We
serious one’s put a lot of time and money and most of all - “CARE” into doing
what we do.
I miss the good old days where it used to
just be planning a shoot, getting decent crew and cast together then straight
into the edit and tracking down some music.
A SHORT STORY OF DESPAIR
I’ll tell you one (believe me, there's more) experience I had working with the AUB (Arts University
Bournemouth) students. I agreed to play a part in their student film, despite
the script being monumentally bad, additionally the format was awful,
furthermore they hadn’t even met me before so were prepared to accept me
without an audition, only given the call sheet at midnight before the predicted
3 day shoot that lay ahead. So WHY did I agree, I hear you ask… Well believe it
or not… Because I’m a nice guy and thought I may be judging too
harshly.
The meeting location was one of their
houses; full of goths, a tip, full of cigarette smoke and looked like a
squatter’s haven. Four hours into unit call and no-one was budging, when their
callous “producer” arrived, I was asked to get them to their location and point
this guy (a new driver) in the right direction and also drive this car
uninsured…? My answer was of course 'Why' followed by ‘No’ and just before I hit my limit of
pulling out of this circus, I stupidly agreed to help this guy find their location in a
full car, where he almost kills us three times (including a moment where he almost
went the wrong way round a roundabout). When we arrived at the location, I was both
relieved and incredibly angry only to then get told we’re having to skip lunch because
of their faffing about… I refused, went to get a sandwich, come back and ask to
speak to their producer and production manager, they didn’t know what their
roles were and expressing my concerns, the purple-headed goth girl with a weird
strand of singular hair winding its way round one of her ears attempted to
silence me with “You are not professional, you’ve got to expect things like
this to happen on set, I cannot work like this” – All but one of her ridiculous
friends (a lovely Japanese girl who was in charge of make-up) supported her.
Convinced they were bat-shit crazy, I waltzed off, both in hysterics and
disbelief.
-
Wouldn’t surprise me if they’re
still trying to turn the camera on right now!
The good news is, since then it can only
get better... But my point is it’s the lack of commitment people make to their
projects and will use any excuse to defend themselves, no matter how
trivial. In order to cover the latest base, I had to train a director so that I
could play my own main lead myself because I was so afraid of hiring another
screw-up who would set the production even FURTHER behind.
I’m all for giving people a chance but when
I see them throw it away hiding behind some bullshit excuse, when I know it
actually comes down to bone idle laziness, I won’t sit back and ‘keep schtum’ –
By the way, those that do this to me, I will name and shame to teach you the
lesson you never learned at school and / or by your parents and if you think
that’s “harsh” I’ve got a two word response for you and the last words ‘Off.’
To the guilty one's: "If you’ve got someone leading
a project you’re a part of, would you rather they be a know-nothing,
introverted wimp or someone with competence, someone you can socialise with and
have a plan?"
